Original sin: How to teach your child about original sin without punitive measures

Many parents of the conservative Christian sort believe in the doctrine of original sin. Original sin is the backbone of Christianity. Without original sin, there would be no need for a Savior. Most parents teach original sin by way of punitive measures. However, the fact of the matter is that there are better ways to teach a child that they were born in sin.

The proper way to teach your child about original sin is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

This first stanza of this commandment clarifies for the second that punishment or shaming are no way to teach a child that they are born in sin. The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is one thing to stop spanking your child. However, it is not enough to stop spanking, or even stop punishing children. You need to avoid offense in your child. Avoiding offense in children is the same as avoiding offense in other adults. Just like hurt feelings are inevitable in relations between adults, hurt feelings are inevitable in children when dealing with them. Thus, to avoid offense in children, you need to be willing to give a meaningful apology to children for hurting their feelings. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent, in the form of a half-apology, whenever a child cannot accept a limit not set out of anger, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limit for Y reasons". However, if you ever lose your cool with your child as a parent, including while setting limits, you definitely need to give a formal apology for your child for hurting their feelings with your anger, such as "I apologize for losing my temper with you", and then commit never to losing your cool with your child ever again, as losing your cool with your child alone is entitlement, and was seen as entitlement in the Early Church. This stanza of this commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the parish at Ephesus their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking or other forms of punishment of children. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men. 

Children can come to the conclusion that they are sinners without a parent breathing down their throat in that regard. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and better translates as "instruction" in more modern versions of the Bible. Paul here was discussing religious instruction of a specific sort. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. From there, when children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, fathers lavishly praised and encouraged children to keep on studying, then saying "you can ask me anything about that book". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children are bound to ask about original sin when they are ready to handle harsh realities. The main reason it would come up is if they asked "Why did Jesus have to die?". The proper answer is that "we are sinners as human beings, and thus we need a Savior to save us from sin". You don't ever call a child a sinner. Simply point out to them "we are sinners" when speaking about human beings as a collective.

It is not acceptable to see your child as a sinner that seeks to undermine your "authority" as a parent. A child is not a "sinful swat" to hate. A child is a primal human being that parents welcome into their home at the parents' doorstep. Children are born in sin, but that just means they are imperfect in their nature. The opposite of sin is perfection. Maybe some of us as adults have hit perfection, but children surely have not. The idea is to accommodate a child's primal nature, until they are ready to behave maturely.

Human nature is in no way "good". We as a human race have a flawed genome that only makes sense in the context of peacekeeping. God rescued mankind from a sinful past, frought with rape and pillaging in all aspects of life. Anger at children is also a mainstay of peacekeeping in our human genome. We as human beings are depraved and decadent sinners deserving of nothing but punishment just for existing as human beings. It isn't mostly the children that are sinners. It is ALL of us as human beings. Focus on your own sins as a parent. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!