The word "no": Why telling children "no" frequently is child abuse

Many parents think that children need to hear the word "no" frequent and often. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents frequently use the word "no". However, the fact of the matter is that frequent use of the word "no" constitutes child abuse as per the Bible.

God's Law on child abuse is spelled out in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin  erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the frequent use of the word "no". Child abuse is defined in the Bible as entitlement in parents, leading to offense in children. The word "no" should be used rarely in parenting, meaning almost never. Whenever a child is offended by a declined request, they deserve a meaningful apology. An apology is definitely in order if you use the word "no" out of anger, as losing your cool as a parent, in and of itself, is entitlement. Parental entitlement includes any angry use of the word "no", with child abuse including the slightest of offense from the word "no". However, even defending your so-called "right" to hurt your child's feelings with the word "no" is entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translating to "power to the parent", including the power of parents to discipline their children punitively. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was opposed to anything punitive towards a child, and even recommended attachment parenting in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

The word "no" was used by Christian parents in the Early Church seldom, meaning" almost never. Customary law in the Early Church prohibited the use of the word "no", as a general rule. The only exceptions to that rule was if the petitioned request from children was unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. When children couldn't accept the word "no", they were given a meaningful apology, meaning an informal apology that reassured the child that parents mean well. Parents then rarely were motivated by anger, as a Christian parent then was instead motivated by worry or concern. 

Even when Christian parents in the Early Church declined a request, they usually did not use the word "no" directly. Instead, children were told nicer-sounding language, such as "that won't work", "that can't happen", or "that isn't possible". Sometimes, children did get a flat out "no", but only when the child committed purity offenses such as sexual promiscuity. When children could not accept a given limit, parents apologized by giving an informal apology that was meaningful in nature, such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons", 

Setting any limits out of anger, including the word "no", was considered a form of parental entitlement then. Parental entitlement was not excused as "healthy" entitlement in the Early Church. Most of the Early Christians did not say "no" to their children out of anger, as that alone was deemed parental entitlement. The declination of a request was almost always done in the Early Church out of worry or concern, with an angry declination of requests being seen as akin to a viper lashing out at an innocent child. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!