Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents support their so-called "right" to spank and punish children. Most American parents use the Bible as an excuse for punishing children. The whole pro-spanking theological argument hinges on one passage - Heb. 12:5-6. However, the fact of the matter is that Hebrews 12:5-6 has nothing to do with earthly parenting.

God's Word reads in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning to. When this passage is understood correctly, it is a comforting verse for me. God doesn't literally reach down from the heavens and scourge His children. But, God does punish His children, sending trials and tribulations the way of those who He loves the most. However, God only punishes His children when they aren't harmed, whereas earthly parents only punish their children when it does harm them. Ultimately, this passage was written in order to reassure the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome. This sort of metaphor is called rod language, and was in use in Ancient Greek. Instead of saying "I had a long day at work", you would instead say "God whipped me hard today".

Heb. 12:5-6 does not speak of earthly parenting, as God never intended for earthly parents to copy His parenting example. However, God does weigh in on the spanking debate elsewhere in the Bible, as well as what is proper parenting of children. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It isn't enough to stop spanking and punishing children - you need to ideally avoid the slightest of offense perceived by a child. However, offending children is inevitable in parenting. Thus, the only way to avoid guilt under this commandment is to give a meaningful apology whenever you offend your child. Usually, all that is necessary is a reassurance of good intent such as "I'm sorry, but I had to set X limits for Y reasons" and then maybe "I hope you understand". However, if you lose your cool with your child, that is entitlement in and of itself, and thus a formal apology is necessary, namely statements such as "I apologize for losing my cool with you". Even refusing to apologize to a child that you upset is a form of entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christians who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase that roughly translates to "power to the parent", namely the power to impose punitive sanctions towards children, including spanking and other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punitive treatment towards a child. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.

Spanking is an ancient pagan custom that seeped itself into the church tradition in the Western Church. In 312, Roman Emperor Constantine converted to Christianity. However, everything set up by Constantine came with a pro-spanking bias. Even the Bible was mistranslated on the Latinate level with this bias. However, the language in Col. 3:21 is clear - a provocation to anger is synonymous with an offense coming from entitlement. Even defending your so-called "rights" as a parent to be angry with your child is a form of entitlement, and when your entitled anger towards a child offends a child, it is child abuse. The only way around guilt in Col. 3:21 is to be willing to apologize to your child.

The Early Christians did not take kindly to children being treated punitively. Occasionally, the odd pro-spanking parent made their way into the church. Whenever that happened, they were tried before the council, and if they were found guilty, they were excommunicated from the Early Christian Churches of God.

It is a myth that fathers in biblical times did "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting as a form of sexual abuse of a child. The role of mothers was to comfort and soothe the child's upset. Fathers instead looked for behaviors that they liked, and then praised and encouraged children for more behavior of the same. In other ancient cultures, fathers did use trauma bonding methods in order to sexually correct the child. However, in the biblical context, child sexual abuse was rare, meaning almost non-existent. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!