Righteous co-sleeping: Why God wants you to sleep next to your children at night

Many parents downright oppose the mere concept of co-sleeping. Most parents in America do not co-sleep with their children. However, not only can parents gel a bond with their children through co-sleeping, but co-sleeping also can prevent child sexual abuse from happening in the first place.

Righteous co-sleeping is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for their children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works here refers to doing good for a child, namely by meeting the child's every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. 

It is a common struggle. Children refuse to go to bed. Bedtime refusal is a common motive for parents to punish their children. However, the fact of the matter is that children under age 6 are not ready for sleeping while isolated in a bedroom. Most young children, when isolated in a room alone, have primal fears of being devoured by predators. You might think that no predators exist today. You would be wrong. Most child sexual abuse comes in the form of a bedtime ritual, with the sexually entitled father sneaking into his child's bedroom. This all was avoided in the context of co-sleeping in the Early Church, as mom was right there, perhaps using herself as a human shield to protect her children from the sexual wrath of fathers.

The most common excuse for not co-sleeping next to children is fearmongering on the part of pediatricians and mental health professionals serving children, with scary terms such as "sleep dependence". However, Christian parents in the Early Church co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping warmth happening every night, until the onset of puberty, which was when most children wanted their own place to sleep. However, even in the case of extended co-sleeping, co-sleeping always has an end to it. It may even last until the late teens or even beyond, but children need closeness with their parent. Denying your child co-sleeping warmth is a form of emotional neglect, and that is how it was seen in biblical times.

Most co-sleeping in biblical times happened in skin-on-skin comfort, meaning mother and child were in constant closeness with each other. In fact, the family bed was a concept then, with the family bed being in the nude. Fathers hung up his robe, and mothers hung up her dress. Children went naked wherever they went, leading to close warmth in the family home between mother and child especially. 

I myself have trauma from being punished at bedtime. When I was a child, I sneaked into my parents' bed. I had bipolar mania, and thus I could not get to sleep without mom right by my side. My father would literally put me in a chokehold. He felt entitled to sleeping next to his wife, meaning my mother. He also believed hype from a developmental pediatrician that co-sleeping would lead to dependence on sleep next to mom. I stopped co-sleeping on my own, at age 16, in order to prove my independence.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!