The Fifth Commandment: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents feel entitled to being honored by their children. This expectation often is an excuse for parents punishing their children. However, the fact of the matter is that honoring parents involves mainly caring for aging parents.

God's Word states in Exodus 20:12 KJV: 

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment was not intended as an excuse for parents to punish their children. Instead, honoring parents involves caring for aging parents, as a means of children giving back for all of the fond childhood memories with parents. However, if children were abused, they had the right to disown btheir parents.

Honoring parents was a positive consequence for forming a mutual submission relationship between parent and child, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating their child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Children were the ones honored in biblical times when they were little children, with children giving back to parents by way of caring for them as they age. Parents earned their honor by way of being in constant closeness for the first 6 years of childhood. For the latter years of childhood. children engaged in wet and messy play, with mothers tenderly cleaning up the child with a handrag. This closeness ultimately was what won over children to their parents. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke your children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!