Separation anxiety: Why children cry seemingly out of nowhere

Many parents think a child who cries seemingly out of nowhere is out to "undermine" the "authority" of parents. This is a common belief amongst American parents. However, children do not cry out loud simply to "undermine" their parents. They instead cry because they need YOU.

Tending to separation anxiety in children is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely onto parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment ultimately comes from parent submission, where parents are to serve children selflessly, as they would serve God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

This Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Children sometimes cry seemingly out of nowhere. However, there is always an antecedent behind a child crying. The fact of the matter is that most of the time, children who cry seemingly out of nowhere do so out of separation anxiety. Most children growing up in the Early Church, during the first 6 years of childhood, were morbidly afraid that mom would "go away and never come back".

Children growing up in the Early Church were allowed to feel separation anxiety. Most parents punish their children merely for crying "out of turn". Children growing up in the Early Church let out a screeching, deathly cry when they wanted attachment with mom. Children would not stop crying until mom reassured children of their presence.

The problem today is that children are kept from feeling their entire range of emotions. This means separation anxiety is repressed, waiting to surface when the child can't take it anymore, and then they throw a hand over foot temper tantrum in the middle of a store. Even in that case, the poor child has to face punishment just for being a child and throwing a temper tantrum that embarrasses the parent.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage of childhood development, with children feeling anxiety when they are too young to internalize an image of mom, meaning object permanence. Thus, when separating mom from child, you might as well be realizing a child's worst nightmare - that mom is "gone and will never come back". 

It is recommended that mothers stay home for the first 6 years of their child's childhood. This is because children need to be with mothers during the first 6 years of childhood. Separation happening before age 6 is likely to cause what is an attachment injury. In the Early Church, the father brought home the bread, with mothers being the primary caregiver of children. Children were attached at the mother's hip for the first 6 years of childhood, either by being held for the first 2 years, or by ranging next to mothers for the latter 4 years of babyhood, with babyhood then lasting for the first 6 years of childhood.  

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!