Child discipline: How to discipline your child the right way (meaning without punishment or force)

Many parents punish their children in order to discipline them. This is a common act committed by a parent. Most parents insist on some discipline in the family home. However, proper biblical discipline of children is catching them in the act of being good.

Proper discipline in parenting is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, giving to children without receiving, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia). This word can mean many things regarding a centered countenance, but in light of Eph. 6:4, stanza 1, this word can only mean one thing in this context - centering the countenance of children with praise and encouragement when children were caught in the act of being good. Whenever children were caught in the act of good behavior, parents gave children lavish praise and encouragement with statements from fathers such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learned from the Christian example of parents how to behave. However, this good example was backed up by way of lavish praise and encouragement, not punishment and force. This praise and encouragement helped in centering the countenance of children. Children need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to gentle instruction, spoonfeeding children with necessary information. In the Early Christian context, this meant self-directed religious instruction. Fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were praised and encouraged with praises such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers giving pointers on the context. 

Sometimes, children did act up. However, parents then knew what parents today need to know - most childhood behaviors deemed "naughty" were healthy and normal behaviors in a child. Most parents in biblical times laughed with their children when they came in wet and messy from a day's play. When children were defiant, mothers and fathers alike cried out loud in the form of righteous wailing. If children drew on the wall, mothers feigned a complement, and cleaned up the child's artwork later.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!