Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this passage is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents cite the Bible as an excuse for punishing children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. The main passage holding the pro-spanking argument together is Hebrews 12:5-8. However, Heb. 12:5-8 does not even refer to earthly parenting.

God's Word reads in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV: 

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou are rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

This passage, when understood correctly, is comforting. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and has a figurative meaning to it. This sort of metaphor is what is called rod language. When you had a long day at work, you instead said "God whipped me hard today". This metaphor was intended as validation for the anguish brought forth from Roman persecution. This whole passage was intended to reassure and validate the Hebrew Christians who were being persecuted by Rome. The modern way to understand this passage is the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

God whips His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations the way of the believer. However, God only whips His children when it doesn't harm them, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it does harm then. Due to the flawed nature of earthly parenting, earthly parents should bring up their children as does naturally, meaning attachment parenting. Instead of parents being like God, they should tip that God-complex on its side, submitting to children just as they would to God.

The passage in Heb. 12:5-8 does not have to deal with earthly parenting. However, certain passage do, in fact, deal with earthly parenting in full. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of children.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40; 25:31-46,

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of offenses or damages stemming from hostage-taking  - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Maybe Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, gently melding the countenance of children. In light of Eph. 6:4, stanza 1, this word can only mean one thing - lavishly praising and encouraging children when they were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children were caught in the act of being good, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learn from the Christian example of parents. However, this good example is backed up by lavish praise and encouragement, as opposed to harsh punishment or force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. Today, children can also study religion over the Internet, in which case let them talk to you about their religious beliefs. This religious instruction, and the praise along with it, was ultimately what centered the countenance of children.

The true Judeo-Christian goal of parenting is not "breaking their will" but instead "centering of countenance". The common way to discipline a child is to beat them, and continue to beat them, until their "will is broken". 

Heb. 12:5-8 is a common argument in favor of punitive parenting, including spanking and other forms of child punishment. However, two verses refer to parenting in particular, and both ban any form of offending a child. Heb. 12:5-8 has nothing to do with earthly parent.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke not your children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!