Why to catch children being good (as opposed to being caught being bad)

Many parents want their children to have discipline. However, most American parents think that discipline means catching children in the act of being bad, and punishing children for being bad. However, the fact of the matter is that parents need to catch their children being good, as opposed to being caught being bad.

Catching children being good is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting. including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents at the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom for spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to gently melding the countenance of children, in a way that strengthens. In the context of earthly parenting, this can only mean one thing - lavish praise and encouragement when children were caught in the act of good behavior. Whenever children showed good traits, they were given praise and encouragement with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learned good traits from the Christian example of children. However, Christian parents in the Early Church backed up their example with praise and encouragement, instead of punishment and harshness. Children also need religious instruction, with religion being a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of the text of the Bible. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This religious instruction, alongside catching children being good, ultimately was what centered the countenance of children.

How do you motivate a child to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mom went, so did her child. For the latter half of childhood, parents were allowed to roam free, venturing farther and farther from home, exploring the terrain, playing high-risk games such as "marriage".

It is myth that the Hebraic context allows for child sexual abuse. Fathers nurtured from afar due to having a sexual attachment to his daughters especially. However, even then, fathers did not use "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting, as that form of gaslighting was banned in both the Old and New Testaments. The Greek root word denoting lust is έπιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, but instead sexual entitlement. Sexual entitlement was defined as, officially speaking, sexual want, to the point of sexually motivated approach. It is okay to look the look, and even think the think later. But, there is a big difference between thinking the think, and doing the deed. If you find yourself even flirting with a child, at minimum, you shouldn't have approached her. Fathers righteously masturbated to sexual thoughts of his children, and all that was allowed. Children went naked for purposes of skin-on-skin closeness, but daughters did not mine the occasional peek from her father, as they were otherwise well taken care of. It is a myth that "hand-me-down-the-slate" was practiced widely in the Early Church.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!