Christian attachment parenting: Why God endorses attachment parenting for children

Many parents think that biblical times were harsh on children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents are punitive parents, and cite the Bible as an excuse for child abuse.

The Bible is America's book. The Bible is a founding document of this country, even above the Constitution itself. We as a nation glean from the Bible and its context how to live. Nowhere in the Bible does it legitimately endorse or command a parent to punish their child in any way. The seven verses in Proverbs refer instead to the 40 minus 1 lashes, with the 40 minus 1 lashes being used frequently on parents who punished their child. Striking another Jew was unlawful except in the context of a courtroom, including the 40 minus 1 lashes. The 40 minus 1 lashes only could be applied to adults convicted of a capital offense, as a final warning that they might be executed for one last offense. Christ's work on the cross repealed the 7 rod verses in the Bible, as well as all of the harsh punishments in the Old Testament. Attachment parenting was the norm in both the Old and New Testaments.

The Bible, when understood in context, is an attachment parenting document, as the Ancient Jews were an attachment parenting culture. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parents, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish in Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to, in the context of parenting, as melding the countenance of children, in a way that strengthens. In this context, melding the countenance can refer to only one thing - lavish praise and encouragement of children when they were caught in the act of good behavior, with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learned good behavior through the Christian example of parents. However, Christian parents in the Early Christian churches backed up their example with praise and encouragement, not punishment and force. This praise and encouragement was usually for acts of self-control, thereby centering the countenance of children. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. Religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. This religious instruction is what ultimately led to the centering of a child's countenance.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? During the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever children went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6 ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and not come back".

These first 6 years led to trust, not just in mothers, but also fathers. At the time children reached age 6, they were usually ready to hear out the instruction of fathers, with children being eager to hear out the facts of life in this secure attachment context. This secure attachment won over children to the religious instruction of parents. Fathers also had a sexual attachment to their children. However, fathers in the Early Christian churches were forbidden from "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting. Instead, fathers righteously masturbated to sexual thoughts of their child. The Greek root word denoting lust is έπιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and does not refer to ordinary sexual desire, but to sexual entitlement. Sexual entitlement is defined as, officially speaking, sexual want, to the point of sexually motivated approach. It is okay to look the look, and even think the think later. However, if you find yourself doing the deed, either by way of flirting with or propositioning children, or else touching them anywhere on their body with sexual intent, you shouldn't have even approached her. Even if the child is right there, they are off-limits due to being an immature believer.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!