Child discipline: How to discipline your children the right way (meaning without punishment or force)

Many parents want their children to have discipline. This is a common attitude among American parents. However, most American parents think discipline means punishment in parenting. However, the fact of the matter is that discipline in biblical times meant catching your child in the act of good behavior, and then praising and encouraging them.

Child discipline was seen as part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely on the part of parents. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40, 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to melding a child's countenance, in a way that strengthens. In the context of this passage, this can only mean one thing - lavish praise and encouragement when children were caught in the act of good behavior, with fathers giving statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Children ultimately learned good traits from their parents' Christian example. However, this example was backed up by lavish praise and encouragement, not harsh punishment or force. This all worked to center the countenance of children. Ultimately, parents looked for self-control from their example, with this self-controlled example being melded in children through the praise and encouragement of parents, with children then doing the good work in terms of self-control in order to earn the praise of their fathers. Children also need religious instruction from parents, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to self-directed religious instruction. This religious instruction starts out with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. This religious instruction also served to center the countenance of children. 

When children didn't behave in a way that was considered good, and got into mischief, the behavior was met with laughter. For example, when a child drew on the wall, parents feigned praise through laughter, and then cleaned up the mess when the child wasn't around. It is good to have a sense of humor as a parents, as children are going to say the darndest of things, and get into the darndest of things. They are too young to know better, and so parents should leave the behavior go. 

This child discipline occurred within the context of a secure attachment between parent and child. Whenever young children cried, mothers cooed at their children. This setup helped gel a bond between mother and child. Fathers also had a secondary attachment towards children, with this secondary attachment started with fathers imprinting onto a child using righteous masturbation. Mothers ultimately bonded with their children by way of skin-on-skin sustaining warmth. Fathers then saw the skin-on-skin closeness between mother and child, and usually ran right to the masturbation packet, imprinting on children from there.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!