Temper tantrums: Why temper tantrums are not bad behavior

Many parents think that temper tantrums are deserving of punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that a tantrumming child is undermining them as parents. However, the fact of the matter is that temper tantrums are a form of communication on the part of children.

Tending to temper tantrums is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof in this mutual submission relationship falling on parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refer to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40; 25:31-46.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Temper tantrums are not bad behavior. Instead, temper tantrums are how children communicate a vulnerable need. Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at their children before picking them up, and from there, she diagnosed the need and then met it. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period.

When children who were milk-dependent cried, they were offered the teat of mothers. Breastfeeding happened in the Early Church even in public. This breastfeeding setup ended when the child pushed away the teat of mothers.

Many times, children throw temper tantrums due to hearing the word "no". In the Early Christian churches, children were told "no" seldom, meaning almost never. Children got most everything that they wanted, and absolutely everything that they needed. The only lawful reason to say "no" was when the petitioned requests of children were unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. The petitioned wants and needs of children were seen as a lawful and binding command coming from children, for parents to heel to. 

When children under age 6 cried in public, they were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers, and from there, their cries were pacified. However, all the child had to do was point to an item that they wanted - usually sweets or candy - and then the mothers got the item off of the shelf for the child. 

The swaddling blankets - and the child with them - in most cases were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress worn by mothers that resembled an apron. The swaddling blankets were, from there, tied from the left breast, then across the dot to the right leg, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins. Swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was grown throughout the Ancient Middle East. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!