Tuesday, July 9, 2024

Passing down the faith: How to bring up your child in the Christian faith (without punishment or force)

Many parents want their children to have some religion. This is a common wish amongst American parents. Most American parents think, however, that the only way to raise a religious child is to force religion on them. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. However, religion is a human need for children and adults alike.

How to pass down the Christian faith is spelled out in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting. including. but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise from fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a kiss to the forehead from fathers when caught being good. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught exploring the Bible, they were given lavish praise and encouragement with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based off of what children saw in the text.  Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers being quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development, as religion is a human need for both children and adults alike. Young children - past age 6 - develop simplistic beliefs non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as they grow older, they start to conform to a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be the religion you would choose, but at least they have values.

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at their children before picking them up, and from there, mothers diagnosed the need of their children. Maybe they were tired. Maybe they were hungry. Maybe they needed mom's milk. Maybe they needed mom, period. When mothers and children - under age 6 - were out and about, mothers wrapped up children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. The swaddling blankets - and the child with them - were tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin co-sleeping lasting until the onset of puberty, which is when children wanted their own place to sleep. Children in biblical times went naked wherever they went, with mothers also going naked within the confines of the family home. This birth nudity facilitated easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth, with the nudity of both mother and child allowing for skin-on-skin contact whenever the child was picked up.

Mothers nurture up close, whereas fathers nurture from afar. Fathers nurtured by stepping in occasionally, praising and encouraging good traits in children. Fathers remained distant due to a sexual attachment he had to his children, especially his daughters. But, even then, fathers were not allowed their "icing on the cake". Fathers instead were required by way of church ordinance to masturbate to sexual thoughts of his children. All the father could hope for was his daughter enjoying being naked in front of her father, knowing that she was otherwise well taken care of. This righteous masturbation helped fathers build a bond in the children that they were instructing.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!

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