Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this is not a pro-spanking passage

Many parents punish their children. The main excuse for punishing children is the Bible according to the parents. The Bible is a common excuse for punishing or abusing children. However, nowhere in the Bible does it say legitimately to strike or punish a child. One common passage used to justify punishing children is Heb. 12:5-8.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? If ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

This passage, when interpreted correctly, gives me comfort. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and can have a figurative meaning in the original Greek. Ultimately, Paul was making a figurative example of the 40 minus 1 lashes. Paul was comforting the Hebrew Christians in their persecution by Rome. This sort of language was known as rod language. When you got home from a long day at work in biblical times, you said "God whipped me hard today". Ultimately, this passage refers to enduring all odds, not a literal whipping or spanking. 

God whips His children, like only He can. However, God only whips His children when it isn't harmful, sending trials and tribulations the way of His children. However, earthly parents only whip their children when it it harms their children. Because of the flawed nature of earthly parents, earthly parents should parent as comes naturally, meaning attachment parenting. Hebrews 12:5-8 isn't about parenting. However, there are passages that have to deal with parenting. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That is may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children showed good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when fathers caught them being good, whereas girls got a kiss to the forehead when fathers caught them being good. Children also need religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. This religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, based on what children saw in the text. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers were quick to give pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. Young children - past age 6 - start out their religious development by forming simplistic beliefs non-conforming to any religious denomination or sect. However, as they get older, they grow towards a specific religious denomination or sect. It may not be your choice of religion, but at least they have values. 

What motivates children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start out with a secure attachment to mothers? For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did her child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her loving arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers were quick to coo at their children, then picking them up, and from there diagnosing the need. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period. When children under age 6 were taken out and about, mothers wrapped up their young child in swaddling blankets, with the swaddling blankets - and the child with them - being tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to their mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this co-sleeping sustaining warmth lasting until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers going naked within the confines of the family home, only wearing a dress when out and about to honor her husband. This birth nudity setup facilitated easy skin-on-skin sustaining warmth - all mom had to do was pick up a child, and the child received rays of skin-on-skin sustenance.

Mothers nurture up close, and fathers nurture from afar. Fathers nurtured in a teaching way, stepping in when children were caught being good. Fathers were distant in their nurturing due to a sexual attachment to their children, especially daughters. Daughters also had an attraction to their fathers, with the sexual dynamics between father and daughter being mutually unrequited. Fathers were not allowed their "icing on the cake" even then, with fathers instead masturbating to sexual thoughts of his daughter. From there, girls were happy to go naked for their father, greeting him in the nude when he got home, not minding being naked because they were otherwise well taken care of. Righteous masturbation, in the context of parenting, is masturbating to sexual thoughts of your child to stay out of trouble. The Greek root word denoting lust is έπιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, but to sexual entitlement, with "sexual entitlement" being defined as, officially speaking, sexual want, to the point of sexually motivated approach - if you approach a child with intent to go further, it is as if you already have done the deed. Doing the deed involves any propositioning or flirting, or else touching a child anywhere on their body with sexual intent.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!