Christian attachment parenting: Understanding why God wants parents to raise their children as comes naturally

Many parents think that the Bible condones or even commands punitive parenting. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that attachment parenting is not part of the Bible. However, the Bible clearly commands attachment parenting. 

Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context. The Bible is best understood as written to God's Audience. The Audience that God spoke to was staunchly anti-spanking, apart from a few scofflaws here and there.

Christian attachment parenting is clearly spelled out in the Bible. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman parents got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The standard of Christian discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever a child showed good traits - such as sharing, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers with phrases such as "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good by fathers, and girls were given a kiss to the forehead when caught being good by fathers. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out with fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with phrases such as "that book is good for you" From there, religious education came in the form of question and answer, based off of what children saw in the Bible. Children were eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers giving pointers on the context. Religious development is a part of child development. Children start out with simplistic beliefs that don't conform to any religious sect or denomination. However, as children get older, they start to conform to a specific religious sect or denomination. It may not be your choice of religion, but at least they have values.

What motivated children to hear out the instruction of their fathers? Why not start with a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of a child's life, children were held constantly by mothers, either in her loving arms, or else on mom's back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. Between ages 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom outside of their line of sight, morbidly fearing that mom would "go away and never come back". Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at the child before picking them up, then holding them next to her bosom in mammary closeness. Children past age 6 played outside freely, while naked. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with co-sleeping starting from day one, and lasting until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep. Children went naked wherever they went, with mothers being naked within the confines of the family home, with this birth nudity facilitating sustaining warmth between mothers and children.

Mothers nurture up close, whereas fathers nurture from afar. Fathers in the Early Church kept their distance from their children, and kept their distance due to a sexual attachment between father and child, in most cases between father and daughter. However, a Christian man was not allowed his "icing on the cake", and instead stuck to righteous masturbation. Fathers did nurture, but in a distant way that was teaching in nature, once children were ready to hear out the instruction of fathers. Sexual correction was prohibited in biblical times. Fathers who approached their children for sexual or flirtatious reasons were excommunicated from the Early Church. Most sexual attachment in biblical times was connotational in nature, meaning not driven. Fathers kept an eye on children, motivated by sexual attachment, in order to catch them being good, and then reward them with praise, or a kiss on the forehead in the case of daughters.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!