Separation anxiety: Understanding cries out of nowhere

Many parents have had to deal with it. A child crying seemingly out of nowhere. Most parents punish children who cry out of nowhere. This is a common reason for punishment amongst American parents. Most of the time, however, a child cries when they need something, and the core of all needs is attachment needs.

Separation anxiety is a normal stage in child development for children under age 6. Providing for separation anxiety involves the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their child as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on their children.

Separation anxiety, in biblical times, was met with constant closeness. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of the child's life, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her arms, or on her back in a papoose bag when her hands were full. When children cried, mothers stopped what they were doing, and held the child close to her bosom in mammary closeness. Between the ages of 2-6, children ranged next to mothers, following her from room to room, not letting mom out of their sight, with children having a morbid fear of mothers "going away and never coming back".

Children were taken out in public by mothers rarely in biblical times. Mothers, when out and about, swaddled their children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. From there, the child was tucked underneath the loose-fitting, revealing dress that resembled an apron. The swaddling blankets were tied from the left breast, and then across the dot to the right leg, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins. When young children - under age 6 - cried in public, mothers simply held them closer to her bosom, in swaddling blankets. The swaddling blankets were made of velvet, which was grown throughout the Ancient Middle East.

Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment! If your child is crying seemingly out of nowhere, they need YOU. Most of the time, children who cry want closeness with mothers. They could be hungry, or thirsty, hot, or cold, and that might lead to a meltdown. But, for young children, the most common need is attachment, applied directly with lots of cuddles and snuggles. 

Fathers also were involved in the upbringing of children. Most fathers had a secondary secure attachment to children. Most fathers kept their distance due to the secure attachment being a sexual attachment to children. Fathers dealt with this sexual attachment by way of righteous masturbation and righteous avoidance. Fathers masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children, and at the same time knew how to avoid them through knowing that approaching their child for sexual or flirtatious reasons would lead to eternity in Hell. Mothers nurtured up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. Fathers nurtured through praise and encouragement, catching children being good as opposed to being bad.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!