Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this passage isn't a pro-spanking passage

Many parents punish their children. The most common excuse for child abuse of this kind is the Bible. Most of the rod verses are in Proverbs, and refer to a form of judicial corporal punishment for adults only. However, the core centerpiece of the false pro-spanking teaching is a false rendition of Heb. 12:5-8, depicting the passage in Hebrews as an excuse for child abuse. There is a right way to discipline in a child, but it isn't found in the book of Hebrews.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, not sons.

This passage was written to a specific context, for a specific reason. The Apostle Paul here was reassure and validate the pain the Hebrew Christians felt from their Roman persecutors. Paul here was using rod language, which was found in the Ancient Greek. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers to, figuratively speaking, the 40 minus 1 lashes. Rod language, in Ancient Greek, was a metaphor for enduring hardship. You didn't say "I had a hard day at work" but instead you said "God whipped me hard today". 

God whips His children, like only He can. But, God whips His children only when it doesn't harm them, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it does harm them. Thus, since no parent can successfully parent like God does, earthly parents are instead to parent as comes naturally, meaning attachment parenting. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment often came from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their parents' footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as waiting their turn, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise from fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a side-embrace from their fathers when caught being good. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. Religious instruction started out by fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible, for children to discover and explore. When fathers caught their children reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children eager to learn the facts of life, and fathers sure to give pointers on the context. The religious development in children is part of child development. Children start out with a religion that is non-conforming and simplistic in nature, but eventually, they grow towards a specific religious denomination. Maybe the denominational beliefs are not what you would choose, but at least they have values.

What motivates a child to heed the instruction of their father? Why not form a secure attachment with mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did their child. During the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held by mothers, either in her arms, or on her back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. When children were aged 2-6, they ranged beside mothers, following her from room to room, not letting mom out of their sight, fearing morbidly that mothers would "go away and never come back". For the latter half of childhood, children played freely outside, venturing farther and farther from home, engaging in high-risk play. However, the play could only happen once children checked in with mom. 

Mothers nurtured from up close, whereas fathers nurtured from afar. Fathers, during the first 6 years of their child's life, kept their distance from children. This is due to the fact that fathers had a sexual attachment to their children. Contrary to popular legend, fathers did not sexually correct their children in biblical times. Instead, fathers simply masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children. The role of mothers was to nurture and protect, and the role of fathers was to instruct and educate.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!