Christian attachment parenting: Why attachment parenting is biblical

Many parents think that attachment parenting is unbiblical. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parenting in modern times comes in the form of time-out, and occasionally a disciplinary spanking. However, the fact of the matter is that Christian attachment parenting is part of the Christian tradition that we have in this country.

The Bible is a founding document of this country, even more so than the Constitution itself. God cast a dominion over all of America, yet only a few will heed the warning. The Bible nowhere legitimately commands that children be punished or reprimanded. The verses where the rod is mentioned are mistranslated, as well as the passages with the word "obey" in the New Testament. The Bible, as understood in context, commands attachment parenting. Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context.

Christian attachment parenting is best understood as a form of mutual submission between parent and child. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children in his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted due to being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, to modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children following in their footsteps. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as taking turns, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise by their fathers when caught being good, and girls were given a side embrace by their fathers when caught being good. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. This instruction first started by fathers leaving out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible out for the child to discover and explore. Once children discovered the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, with fathers giving pointers on the context. Children have a specific religious development that starts at around age 6. Children, at first, have simplistic religious beliefs that are non-conforming to any religious denomination. Eventually, however, children conform to a specific religious denomination. It may not be your choice of a denomination, but at least they have values of their own.

What motivates children to hear out the warning of their fathers? What better way than a secure attachment with their mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, mothers constantly held their children, sometimes in her arms, and other times in a papoose bag when her hands were full. When children were aged 2-6, they ranged beside their mothers, not allowing mothers outside their line of sight, crying even when mothers simply went into the other room. The child's worst fear was mom "going away and never coming back". Mothers formed this bond with a method known as birth nudity, where children and mothers were naked in the family home. The birth nudity of the child was there so that mothers could easily cradle and reassure their child in skin-on-skin format when they are upset.

The abovementioned warmth with mothers readied children for the instruction of the Lord coming from fathers. Secure attachment is primary for mothers in relation to children, and is secondary for fathers in relation to children. Fathers had a sexual attachment to children, usually towards daughters, but also sons from time to time. Thus, fathers had to keep their distance, and masturbate righteously to the sexual thoughts that they had for their children. Apart for that, fathers were only there to praise and encourage good traits in children. It is a myth that fathers sexually corrected their children in biblical times - fathers masturbated righteously in order to spend away the unrequited lusts and passions that they felt towards their children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!