Children calling the shots: Why children call the shots under Christian law

Many parents think that they call the shots. This is a common attitude towards children by parents. However, in the Bible, children called the shots. The fact of the matter is that children called the shots in biblical times, not parents.

Children calling the shots is known as righteous ordering, and is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refer to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

Children called the shots in the biblical context. Children, in biblical times, issued orders, and parents had to obey their children in most cases. The only valid reasons for disobeying your child was if the orders from the child were unworkable and/or immoral. When children felt that they were being disobeyed unfairly, they could appeal their parents' decision to the council. If the council sided with the child, the parents were summarily excommunicated. If the council ruled in favor of the parents, the cries of the child were reassured and validated by the judges, with the child not being punished at all.

Parents were unable to issue lawful orders on their own towards children, and instead were forced to plead with their children. If parents took their children to court, the council automatically dropped the case, and sided with the child. 

Children who were under age 6 cried in order to issue orders, with the every cry of a child being seen as a summonses for the mother to reassure the child and meet his/her needs. When children were older, they ordered parents around with verbal commands, giving parents the morning breath treatment. The only assertiveness that was discouraged was physical aggression, in which case parents cried out loud themselves - and then that was the last time children struck their parents.

Righteous ordering is like going to a restaurant. You can have it your way, but the food has to be on the menu. The waitress is nice about food not being on the menu, even if you aren't nice about it. Parenting, in biblical times, was seen as being servile like being waitstaff in a restaurant, with mothers especially waiting hand over foot, doting on their children, always wearing a smile when around their children. The parent was simply the custodian of the house, instead of being THE custodian.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!