Children calling the shots: Why children should call the shots in the family home

Many parents want to call the shots in the family home. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents see children calling the shots as talking back. However, the Bible commands that parents not talk back to their children, not vice versa.

Children calling the shots was part of the Christian standard of mutual submission, with parents bearing the burden of proof in the mutual submission relationship with children. Children issued the orders, and parents followed the orders. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV: 

Children, obey your parents in all things: as this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children in an adversarial way, just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishment, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on their children.

Children in biblical times called the shots. Children, under the Law, could issue orders to parents, with parents being required, in most cases, to obey the orders of their children. The only time that parents were allowed to disobey the orders of children were when the children's wishes were unlawful and/or unworkable. When children felt, however, that they were given the word "no" unjustly, they could appeal to the council, and if the council agreed with the child, the parent was excommunicated from the Early Christian churches of God. Even when the court otherwise agreed with the parents, if the parents didn't comfort their children when declining a request, they could be excommunicated just for that.

In biblical times, young children gave orders by way of crying. Whenever children cried in the Early Church, mothers cooed at their children before rushing in, then picking up the child and cradling the child in her arms. Children were held constantly until age 2, either in mom's arms, or on mom's back in a papoose bag when mom's hands were full. When children were aged 2-6, they ranged next to mothers, demanding that mom stay within the child's line of sight, even if mom was simply going into another room. 

Older children literally ordered their parents around, giving parents the complete morning breath treatment. Children would literally shout and scream in their parents' face. Parents had no choice but to obey the orders of their children, with few exceptions. Children ordered around, and parents obeyed.

Children calling the shots is called righteous ordering. Think like ordering from a restaurant. You can have it your way, and the server works for you. But, whatever you order must be on the menu. When it is not on the menu, waitstaff are nice about it, even if you aren't.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke your children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!