"Honor parents": Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Most parents demand it, in an entitled fashion. Most parents demand respect from children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most parents bring out the Fifth Commandment, and misuse said commandment in order to demand the respect that parents feel that they deserve.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land that the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment is interpreted in light of the other parent protection laws in the Bible. Don't impose a gaslighting curse on your parents (see Lev. 20:9). Don't repeatedly beat your parents (see Exod. 21:15). Don't commit crimes in their name (see Deut. 21:18-21). Apart from those narrow rules, parents are there to be used, like a sponge, with the child milking what they need from their parents. 

The Fifth Commandment and the parent protection laws are where we draw the line at elder abuse. We can use our parents for what we need, and they shouldn't mind being used like a sponge to squeeze and milk from. Dishonoring parents is when you take advantage of a parent's selflessness, and abuse them by the abovementioned means.

Respect in parenting comes in the form of mutual submission, with the burden of proof being on the parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word refers to, in context, a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul. contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children in his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were persecuted largely for being "too soft" on their children.

Respect for parents did exist for children growing up in the Early Church. However, respect was seen differently, meaning closeness. Children, for the first 6 years of life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, meaning mother and child were quartered in the nude, in the family home, in skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance. Children under age 3 were constantly held, either by hand, or else in a papoose bag when the mother's hands were full. When children were aged 3-6, children never allowed their mothers to leave their line of sight, in most case with the child ranging next to mothers. Optimal conditioning is having all of a child's needs met by the time that they are age 6, so that they can focus on becoming as independent as possible. 

Whenever children cried, mothers cooed at them before picking them up, holding the child in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. Children, when out and about, were swaddled next to mothers in swaddling blankets, with children who cried then being held close to the bosom of mothers. If milk-dependent, children were nourished and breastfed, wherever they were with their mother. This optimal conditioning speeds up development, so that children are ready for the real world by the time they are 13 (even though they still have to wait).

Honor, for parents, is something earned, not handed out on a silver platter. Apart from the basic parent protection laws, children could show as much or as little respect to parents, based on what they have earned. Children praised their parents most when parents took good care of them as children. The highest part of the praise was acting in a child-like way when coming home to parents, making yourself right at home.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!