Respect: Why respect is earned in parenting

Many American parents want respect. Most American parents feel that they are entitled to respect from children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents demand respect from their children. However, the fact of the matter is that respect is earned in all contexts of life, including the context of parenting.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents, Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment in between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of offensive touch or speech stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings.

Respect for parents was a concept for children growing up in the Early Church, but came in the form of closeness and intimacy. For the first 6 years of a child, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, with mother and child in the nude, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. When children, mothers cooed before picking np the child in skin-on-skin format, and cradling the child next to her bosom in mammary closeness. When mothers were out and about in public, children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Mothers breastfed wherever and whenever the child needed it. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with mothers breastfeeding their milk-dependent children to sleep. Older children who shook off the warmth of mothers played freely outside, after checking in with mom. Children continued to co-sleep next to mothers until the onset of puberty, when children insisted on their own place to sleep.

Children being pampered throughout childhood led to adult children bowing down to parents, and surrendering to the lawful authority of their parents. Most children then had good parents to praise and surrender to with reverent respect. Sometimes, a child was provoked to anger through child abuse, and then, in most cases the young adults shunned their parents, and/or brought their parents before the council, with entitled and abusive parents being excommunicated from the church if they didn't apologize to their child and turn away from their punitive parenting ways. Today, a mother who pampered their children during their formative years can expect obedience and surrender come the teenage years. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!