Why to catch children being good

Many parents seek to catch their children being bad. "Bad" to them is any behavior that offends parents. Most American parents discipline their children by punishing bad behavior, and then focus on punishing and reprimanding children for bad behavior. The fact of the matter, however, is that the Bible commands something different in parenting. The Early Christians instead caught their children being good.

Catching children being good is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul to lift up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and children in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments, reprimands, or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, to modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children. Children were caught being good in biblical times, instead of being caught being bad. When children emulated the disciplined example of parents - such as by showing self-control or giving up something they really wanted - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep going down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good, and girls were given physical affection such as hugs and embraces when they were caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to direct parental instruction. Due to the fact that parents could not issue lawfully binding orders, parents instead pleaded with their children, asking politely and humbly for favors, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

Mothers, for the first 6 years of a child's life, were in constant closeness with their children, meaning wherever the mother went, so did the child. Mother and child were in a state of birth nudity, with mother and child being in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin format. Children, when they cried, were picked up and cradled in skin-on-skin format, and then mothers engaged in skin-on-skin co-snuggling. When children turned age 6, they were handed to their father. Their father encouraged discipline and family values, and did so through lavish praise and encouragement. Boys were given manly praise and encouragement, and girls were rewarded with hugs and physical affection. 

Good behavior, or non-entitled behavior, was encouraged by both parents, but especially by fathers. Bad behavior, or entitled behavior, was overlooked or else was made a joke of. Parents in biblical times laughed at the mischief that their children came up with, and didn't force children to clean up after they made a mess out of things. Parents in the Early Church knew that most childish and immature behavior in children is developmentally appropriate given their age and developmental level. Thus, they let go of most mischevious behavior in children, and comforted and reassured crying children with skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance.

Good behavior was imparted by a disciplined example, known as the chastening of the Lord. Parents took up the undeserving attitude that they were deserving of absolutely nothing, for being a depraved and decadent sinner. Taking up this undeserving attitude leads to parents being grateful for absolutely everything, and being happier. Then, children will try to emulate your disciplined example. When you see children following your own footsteps, and being convicted of the chastening of the Lord, praise them and encourage them lavishly. Encouragement helps children understand that they did the right thing, and made the right choice, and will encourage them to keep going down the straight path.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!