Christian attachment parenting: Upholding the Christian tradition

Many parents hold onto punitive parenting as the American tradition of parenting. This is a common sentiment amongst American parents. Most American parents bring up their children using punitive parenting. The fact of the matter, however, is that Christian attachment parenting is in our Christian heritage as a nation.

Christian attachment parenting is based off of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where children surrender to the loving arms of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul as lifting up the customary law that commands a secure attachment between parents and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents submit to children as their enemy, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children then following suit. Children then were caught being good, instead of caught being bad. When children were caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep going down the straight path". Most childhood mischief was laughed off, and all childhood crying was responded to with sustaining warmth. But, when children did things such as show self-control or give up something they really wanted, they were lavishly praised and encouraged by fathers. Sometimes, parents needed to give direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to direct parental instruction. Parents could not issue lawful orders on their dependent children, as parents were under the divine authority of their children until said children left the house, and so parents pleaded with their children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, knowing they'd get nothing in return. Parents asked favors of their children politely and humbly, from the bottom of their heart, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Most parents got cooperation from their children, due to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home.

Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context. How did the Early Christians bring up their children? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. This birth nudity setup brought out raw separation anxiety in the young child, which mothers accommodated with sustaining warmth and reassurance. Children were afraid that mothers would "go away and never come back", only not for long, because mothers reassured their children of their separation anxiety. Young children, when the mother went out in public, were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, with the mother breastfeeding the child if summoned to by her child.

Older children ventured father and farther from home, playing outside freely, but then retreating to the sustaining warmth of mothers, in the form of skin-on-skin co-sleeping. Co-sleeping ended when the child hit puberty, when the child wanting his/her own place to sleep. Fathers became more active once children were over age 6. Fathers encouraged discipline and family values in children, catching children being good, and then praising them for being good. Fathers struggled with parent attraction, usually to daughters, and indulged in masturbatory fantasy about their children. Children went naked wherever they went, and this helped both parents form a secure attachment with their children. When fathers masturbated about their children, they ended up accepting those sexual thoughts, and then they felt more comfortable around their children, namely their daughters.

Parents in the Early Church conditioned themselves a special way, meaning the depravity way. Whenever parents got angry or anxious, they told themselves that they were deserving of absolutely nothing for being the depraved and decadent sinners that they were. They therefore came to know the fact that they were depraved and decadent sinner who were deserving of absolutely nothing. This turned the parent anger inward in order to percolate into nothing, with the anger eventually being completely eliminated. In the case of parent attraction, fathers in particular reminded themselves that if they approached their children for sexual or flirtatious purposes, they might burn in Hell. Fathers also masturbated to sexual thoughts of their children in order to re-channel the sexual desires inwards. This centered and disciplined example is then copied by children. When children see you take an undeserving attitude, they too take an undeserving attitude towards life.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!