"Benign" deprivation: Why "benign" deprivation is prohibited in the Bible

Many parents think that "benign" deprivation is a benign way of curbing crying and upset in children. "Benign" deprivation is proposed by pro-spank authoritative parenting gurus as a way of setting limits. The theory is that children usually cry to manipulate, in which case such cries should be ignored. The fact of the matter is that parents should respond to the every cry and upset in their child, not just the ones they want to respond to. 

"Benign" deprivation is a violation of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, with parent believers resting securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul as lifting up customary law that commands a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral stature prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments and controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

"Benign" deprivation is when parents deprive children of some of their needs and "save their energy" for "real needs". This is antithetical to how God wants children to be brought up. Christian mothers in the Early Church responded to the EVERY cry of their children, not just the cries they felt like responding to. Mothers would respond to crying by picking up the child while in a state of birth nudity with the child, and then co-snuggle with the child in skin-on-skin format. When out and about, young children under age 6 were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Christian mothers in the Early Church tended to the every need of children, not just the needs they felt like tending to.

Christian attachment parenting is attachment parenting based off of the Early Christian context. Christian mothers in the Early Church were charged by church ordinance with providing for the every vulnerable need of children. Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these is attachment!

Under Christian law, parents could not say "no" except in extreme exigent circumstances. Parents in the Early Church could only say "no" when their children ordered something either unlawful and/or unworkable. Children issued lawfully binding orders to parents in the Early Church, and could take their parents to court if they perceived that the word "no" was unjust. Defending the unlawful use of the word "no" in Aramaic or any deprivation of advocated needs/wants could get a parent excommunicated from the church, as there was no room at the inn for parental entitlement in the Early Church. When parents were excommunicated from the church, the children were collected by the church child protection deacon and handed to pedophiles as a form of foster care. The Apostle Paul was a child protection deacon, and was considered a "child savior" or non-contact pedophile called by the church to defend the rights of minor children and take them in when they are without parents. "Child saviors" did not demand any sexual ransom - sexual ransom was grounds for excommunication from the church - and they lactated if the child was milk-dependent still.

I myself am a survivor of law-abiding parents, and much of my trauma as a child is from "benign" deprivation. I was denied much of what I asked for, and punished when I understandably couldn't accept the word "no" due to my bipolar disability. I now hate saying "no" to children because it seems so cruel and inhumane, and so if I absolutely had to, I'd know to reassure them. I was also spanked "out of love", meaning spanked after my father calmed down. The idea that a parent might spank their child gives me the creeps. I use "innocent until proven guilty" in order to keep the parents at bay.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!