"Terrible twos": How to prevent toddler meltdowns

Many parents have to deal with it, or had to deal with it. Many conventional parents call it the "terrible twos". The legend is that once a child turns age 2, their behavior becomes more and more unhinged. Many times, these "terrible twos" last longer than age 2, until age 6. In biblical times, behaviors such as kicking and screaming on the ground were next to non-existent. Children usually just cried. The difference is due to children getting their attachment needs met from day one.

Part of the solution to the "terrible twos" takes place within the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of puntiive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment wss seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Today, you may see it from time to time in the store or the supermarket - a toddler on the ground kicking and screaming. Most parents take this behavior for granted, in a punitive way. Many toddlers are punished for having meltdowns, usually by way of false imprisonment through time-out. This type of behavior in children in biblical times was unheard of. There is a reason why children in Christian homes in the 1st Century did not kick and scream on the ground - mother was always close-by, and was most always naked, allowing for skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance. Toddlers weren't intended by God to be free range.

Toddlers, in biblical times, were lumped in with babies and were treated as babies. In fact, children were treated as babies up until the age of 6. A 2-year-old in biblical times was glued to the hip of mothers, not kicking and screaming apart from the mother. Sometimes, the child would cry, and usually, that child just wanted to be held, and so mothers would pick up the child. Otherwise, the child instinctively followed mothers wherever she went, feeling safe with her in his/her line of sight. When out and about, mothers swaddled children next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, with mothers breastfeeding in public if the child was milk-hungry. Most children were not weaned until age 3.

The key to toddler success is the mother staying home, and quitting her job, to bond with her child. Women in the Early Church were allowed to work, but they usually didn't. The reason Christian women in the 1st Century did not work was because their children needed them, and they knew it. Usually, the man of the house was the breadwinner, and the woman rested in the care of her husband. Today, it takes two jobs to make ends meet, but the husband could work two jobs. If this is absolutely not feasible, heal the attachment injury from premature separation by engaging in skin-on-skin closeness and warmth immediately when you get home.

The other key to toddler success is treating the toddler like a baby. This means instead of the toddler existing separate from the mother, the toddler should be frequently in the arms of mothers, and breastfed. In biblical times, including the Early Church, children were treated as babies until age 6, with constant closeness to, and sustaining warmth with, mothers. A toddler was given immediate comfort in skin-on-skin format if they started crying, and possibly was offered to suckle the teat of the mother. The average child in biblical times was weaned at age 3, when they pushed away the nipple of the mother. Some children weren't weaned until age 6. 

Due to the close proximity of children in relation to mothers, children didn't have a chance to devolve into kicking and screaming, which is a behavior that shows a lack of attachment. The mother was right there to soothe the child through skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance. This meant children got all their attachment needs met, and were at peace with the world. Usually, a 2-year-old would be frequently held in biblical times, like a baby, so they wouldn't have a chance to throw themselves on the ground and kick and scream. Mothers picked up the child right away when the child started to cry. Children up until age 6 were constantly held in swaddling blankets when out and about. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!