Time-in: Why time-in is better than time-out

Many parents today use time-out as a means to control the movements of their child. This is a common punishment that parents impose upon children, many times in conjunction with a disciplinary spanking. This is how authoritative parenting is implemented in America. The fact of the matter, however, is that time-in is more effective than time-out or spanking. However, there is a proper way to do time-in, and that is the biblical way.

Time-in takes place in the context of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, where parents are convicted into dutiful and fearful submission to children, with children resting in such submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibitng all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages and offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as in biblical times holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Time-in has a proper application, and that proper application is rooted in the biblical context, thereby coloring the meaning of the Christian commands on parenting. When a child cried in biblical times, mothers always responded, and usually gave the child skin-on-skin comfort, maybe allowing the child to suckle her teat if milk-hungry. In most cases, this skin-on-skin contact with the mother soothed the child and stopped crying instantly. Then, mothers asked the child what they needed, that is if the child was old enough to verbalize their needs. With babies, mothers intuitively knew what children wanted or needed, and fulfilled that need.

The every cry of a child was deemed law in the Early Church, meaning that if you did not respond to your child's cries with warmth and affection, you were guilty of theft under the Law, at the very least, depending on the nature of the offense perceived by the child, but maybe kidnapping if the offense involved servile treatment of any kind. Parents, in the Early Christian church communities, were under the lawful authority of their children, with children able to impose orders on parents, which was usually done through crying. Parents had to respond to the tears of children, or be deemed abusers.

The way the abovementioned context can be best applied today is to allow children to not wear clothing when simply walking around the house. Then, when you are the mother, and your child is crying, disrobe and hold the naked child to your bosom, reassuring the child with the word "this too will pass". The child's tears should turn silent before going away completely, and then you can work out with your child what they need. In public, mothers can take their children to the ladies' room and tuck the crying or upset child under their shirt.

Fathers can also reassure their children, albeit more from afar than the mother can. They can reassure the child with the words "this too will pass", perhaps with gentle physical affection. Fathers can learn how to be gentle with their children through righteous masturbation, meaning indulging in masturbatory fantasy about their child in order to encapsulate their sexual drive towards their own child, which all fathers have, usually towards daughters.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!