Teen mental health and social media: Why to blame parents (not social media)

Many parents today are concerned about their children's social media usage. In Utah yesterday, a bill was passed and signed into law that severely limited the free speech rights of children on social media, by involving parental supervision and legislating curfew hours for social media usage. It is only a matter of time before these draconian laws make it across the nation. The fact of the matter is that most teen suicides are due to cyberbullying, and bullies have parents that are bullies, meaning parents who are abusers to their children.

The main cause of cyberbullying on social media is not social media itself, but entitlement modeled to children. The Greek root word denoting entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defimed as, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. When this entitlement is imposed on children, it is parental entitlement. Most entitlement comes from a deserving place, where you take up the attitude that you deserve things in life. The key to non-entitlement is having an attitude adjustment, where you come to the conviction that you are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing. When you take an undeserving attitude toward life, you demand less, and less demands mean less emtitlement. Your chid is watching your every move. If you are ever entitled towards them or around them, this teaches them to use entitlement to get their way.

Christian non-entitlement is a good example to model to children. But, every good example needs to be backed up by something. Punitive parenting only drives children away from the Truth, and alienates children away from their upbringing. Attachment parenting is the only way, and is time-honored and time-tested. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from emtitlement. Thiis commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demesnor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punsihing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment in his writings.

Children, in biblical times, were under the providing custody of their parents, primarily of ther mothers, and secondarily of their fathers. Mothers in biblical times formed a secure attachment to their children, and did so by providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children remained in constant closeness to their mothers, never leaving her side, being wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets. Sometime around age 6, children started to explore more, playing outside with peers. Children insisted on doing things on their own. But, when children had enough of the real world, they retreated to the closeness of mothers, with mothers being home base for children to recharge in. Children formed a secure attachment to their fathers through their mothers, with fathers making themselves at home by indulging in masturbatory fantasy about their children, in which case the pro-social fantasy improved the relationship between father and child. Fathers were physically affectionate in a gentle, loving way, usually by snuggling or cuddling with daughters in particular, but only with the permission of mothers. Attachment parenting is the only way to teach children not to become cyberbullies.

Most of the issues with social media relate to cyberbullying. Cyberbullying comes from parents being bullies, and modeling that behavior to their children. More apply, it comes from the punishment of children. Punishment of children is bully behavior, and when children experience bully behavior like that, they emulate that bully example towards other children in the schoolyard. Social media is simply the new schoolyard, and it is here to stay. Don't blame social media. Blame the parents modeling the bully behavior on social media. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is rhe second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!