I grew up in a largely Catholic family. Catholic forgiveness is emotional forgiveness. I myself hold Mennonite values, and Mennonites keep the tradition of legal forgiveness.
Christ says in Matthew 6:14-15 KJV:
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
The Greek root word translated "trespasses" is παραπτομα (Latin: paraptoma) and refers to legal forgiveness, meaning forgiveness meant that, in a moral legal exchange, forgiveness could be granted at any time that the plaintiff saw fit, and canceled any time the plaintiff saw fit. The plaintiff was the one bringing forth moral charges against a defendant. Once the defendant was convicted, they became an offender. An offender could be forgiven once they apologized. Sometimes, the plaintiff forgave the defendant, but with conditions that they not do something that was found offensive by the plaintiff.
When I forgive, I announce that the charges I pressed are dropped, and I unblock the offender. Today, I dropped the charges against Marie Eaton. Forgiveness is the dropping of anti-entitlement charges against the offender after an apology or when the forgiveness comes with strings attached. With her, there are strings attached. If I even see her in gaslighting tomorrow, the charges are coming back, and then I might not think to reach out again to forgive an enemy, meaning she'd be my enemy, period.
I forgive everyone by default, turning the other cheek. I leave initial offenses go in most cases, but when the offenses are repeated or serious, I judge. I usually give an abuser a reasonable amount of time to just stop what they are doing, and righteously evade charges. When they keep doing it enough times, enough is enough, and then I take offense at the entitlement of the abuser, and all the offenses they committed against me in reverse coloration format. Until I get around to pressing anti-entitlement charges, I deserve everything coming to me for being the depraved and decadent adult and human being that I am.
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