Discipline: How to teach children discipline (without spanking or punishment)

Many parents think that children need to be taught discipline directly, and that the only way is through child punishment. This is a common view and attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that it is acceptable to punish a child in order to teach them discipline. There is a better way. The fact of the matter is that discipline, as a life skill, is something modeled to children, not something directly taught through punishment and violence. 

The Greek root word denoting entitlement, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. It is good not to want things in life, but since we all want things in life as depraved and decadent adults, it is good to ask politely and appropriately for what we want, not throwing a temper tantrum when hearing the word "no". If you want something that will lead you to a temper tantrum upon hearing the word "no", don't want it, and avoid that want at all costs. Entitlement comes from a deserving place in our sin nature, where we feel that we deserve things in life, and then when we don't get what we feel that we deserve, it leads to entitlement. We as depraved and decadent human beings are deserving of absolutely nothing in life, including from children. Deservances are the core of our fallen and entitled nature as human beings, meaning it is human nature to feel deserving of things in life. Children are watching our every move, and when we as adults show entitlement in relation to children, it tells children that it is okay to show entitlement to get what you want in life. This also means do not show entitlement towards your children - we call that form of entitlement parental entitlement. Any time you act entitled around or towards your child, you end up with an entitled child. Entitlement is the opposite of discipline, so show discipline instead of entitlement by avoiding entitlement in all cases, including towards children.

Non-entitlement is discipline, and discipline is non-entitlement, and makes a good example to impart to children. Every good example needs something to back it up with. Punitive parenting won't work, because that alienates children from the faith, and drives them away from the Truth, or else simply creates resentments in children and young people. Attachment parenting is the only way to back up a non-entitled, disciplined example. Attachment parenting gives children a safe place to absorb Christian discipline at their own pace. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to their children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing their child as a vulnerable extension of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time (see Exod. 21:16). Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in bibllical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children then by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children in biblical times, for the first 6 years of their lives, never left the side of their mothers, ranging beside their mothers, sometimes clinging to her when they were crying or upset. When out and about, young children were wrapped up next to the bosom or back of mothers in swaddling blankets. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children, in skin-on-skin format, in order to guard the children against predatory threats, including the sexual entitlement of fathers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to children, by way of witnessing the skin-on-skin closeness between mothers and children, wanting in on the action by way of having a sexual attachment. Fathers in biblical times dealt with a sexual attachment - usually towards daughters - by way of following the sexual thoughts about his child to the end using masturbatory fantasy. Daughters usually were also sexually interested in their fathers, mostly in term of wanting to look attractive for fathers. Actual child sexual abuse was rare next to non-existent in biblical times, and was severely punished in both the Old and New Testaments. In the Early Church, adult fornicators of children were excommunicated and never were allowed back to the parish that they offended. 

Attachment parenting works as a vehicle to back up a good Christian example, including values of non-entitlement and discipline. The way it works is that a secure attachment gives children a safe place to learn about Judeo-Christian values, including values of non-entitlement and discipline. When parents form a secure attachment to children, children want to be like their parents, and tske up the attitudes of their parents eventually. Discipline is not an attitude that you beat into children. You show children what discipline is by avoiding the opposite of discipline in yourself, with the opposite of discipline being entitlement. When children have a secure attachment to their parents, they will absorb the life lessons of non-entitlement and discipline at their own pace, while having a safe place to do so in the presence of parents. Children will still cry and throw tantrums, but they should grow out of such behaviors on their own in due time, as their brain grows and matures. Most behaviors that children engage in that adults generally call "naughty" are actually developmentally appropriate behavior. But, as children grow out of their immature phases, they grow up to be like a parent they favor, usually the parent of the opposite sex. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!