Respect: Why parents are to earn their child's respect

Many parents feel entitled to respect from children. This is a common attitude amongst American children. Most American parents want children to be respectful to parents. However, most parents simply demand respect from their children, instead of earning it. The fact of the matter is that parents are to earn their respect from children.

Respect in parenting is part of the concept of mutual submission, where parent and child submit to each other. Parents are to be submissive to children, just as parent believers are submissive to God. The Fifth Comandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke nor your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutley nothing in return, with chidren resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children from beneath, yet from above, revering their children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to desth by wsy of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside of the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children were allowed to go naked for a reason - so that mothers could just scoop them up and snuggle with them in order to soothe their cries and upset. When out and about, mothers wrapped up their children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children, in order to guard them against predators, including sexual predators in the home. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to their children by way of witnessing skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, usually in the form of a sexual attachment to the child that had to be dealt with using masturbatory fantasy about the child. Actual child sexual abuse, however, was rare next to non-existent in biblical times, and was seen as a capital offense, at least symbolically.

Respect is something that is earned in life, including in parenting. Respect for parents was a concept in biblical times, but was seen as a form of closeness to parents, not fearful compliance to parental orders. Respect, in biblical times, meant a secure attachment. The more closeness that was offered to children, and the more intense the closeness, the more respectful children were as adults. Respecting parents in biblical times meant giving back to parents, and that was only expected once children were adults. Attachment parenting is a time-honored and time-tested way of teaching children Judeo-Christian values such as respect and discipline. Attachment parenting wins over your child's support for your values, and their respect from you.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!