Pro-social permissiveness: Why the Bible says that children call the shots

Many parents support authoritative parenting. Authoritative parenting is a form of parenting where children usually receive time-out, usually with a disciplinary spanking in conjunction with the time-out "when all else fails". Permissive parenting is when children receive no punishment at all for anything. Antisocial permissiveness involves blurred boundaries, usually in conjunction to child sexual abuse. Pro-social permissiveness is setting boundaries without ever punishing a child, and allowing children to set boundaries with you.

Pro-social permissiveness takes place within the context of a mutual submission relationship with a child. Parents are to be submissive to children, just as they are submissive to God. In turn, children are to rest safely and securely in the love and submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to their children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children from beneath, yet from above, revering children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnappingt, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Parents are to be submissive to their children, just as they are to God. Children in biblical times were prized when they were bold and rebellious. Boldness was seen as a sign of independence in a child, with bold feats of independence being lavishly encouraged by fathers. Rebelliousness was seen as cute and endearing to parents and other adults in biblical times. Children demanded things from their parents in the form of orders and edicts, being seen as extensions of God. Parents gave up any fight with their child, and gave in to their demands. These demands from children brought their parents to full and selfless submission, with parents fearing the Lord in their children, revering their children as extensions of God. 

Part of pro-social permissiveness in parenting is allowing children to set boundaries with you. This is known as policing attachment. This is where children trust their parents and feel comfortable with them so much that they boss their parents around, issuing orders and edicts, and expecting parents to give up any fight with the child, and give in to children's demands. 

With certain children, such as children with ADHD or bipolar disorder, parents absolutely have to have a pro-social permissive setup where the child bosses them around, and the parent gives in to every demand, or else the child will rebel against any firm limits imposed. Any limits imposed on such a child is seen as control by them, and then they counter-control in order to even the score. Children such as these are especially deserving of pro-social permissiveness. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through puntive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his acccomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!