"Ungrateful child syndrome": How to impart gratitude to children (the right way)

It is Christmas Eve. In a few hours, children will be receiving their gifts. Some children will be grateful for everything they received, and some won't. Many parents think there is something wrong with their child when this happens. The fact of the matter is that children pushing away presents is developmentally appropriate behavior given their age and developmental level. Children aren't exactly the most non-entitled and disciplined of people out there, right? The best a parent can do to prevent this is to model non-entitlement and discipline, and back it up with attachment parenting.

Gratitude is the absence of entitlement, in any parent. The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, entitlement refers to the slightest of unattainable want. When what you want will lead you to a temper tantrum, don't want it, and avoid that want at all costs. Entitlement usually involves imposing expectations on others, which leads to ingratitude when those high, lofty standards imposed on others aren't met. Children are watching your every move. When YOU as a parent are avoiding imposing expectations on others, and are avoiding expecting anything in return for doing good to others, you are on your way to being grateful. One way to show gratitude in relation to children is to avoid wanting things from children, and avoid parental entitlement. Entitled anger and other forms of entitlement, including towards your child, comes from a deserving attitude towards life, when you are deserving of absolutely nothing due to your depraved and decadent sin nature, in relation to children or anyone else.

Modeling gratitude, as with modeling any good value, needs to be backed up by something. Punitive parenting does not win over children to the Christian family values of parents, and instead, it drives children away from the good values of parents. Attachment parenting is the only way to reach children, and win them over to Judeo-Christan family values. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers around especially like goslings to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents, who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. 

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside of the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comforting strategies. When children were having a meltdown at home, mothers co-snuggled with children in skin-on-skin format. When mothers were out and about with their children, and children had a meltdown, mothers made sure children up until age 6 were wrapped up in swaddling blankets next to the bosom of the mother. By night, mothers slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to children, by way of witnessing the children bond closely with their mother. However, with fathers, the secure attachment came in the form of a sexual attachment to the child, with the father imprinting on his children by their sexual attributes. Fathers purged the unrequited lusts towards their own children by way of following the sexual thoughts about their child to the end using masturbatory fantasy. Pro-social fantasy helped fathers form a closer bond with their children.

It is this secure bond that wins children over to the Judeo-Christian family values that their parents hold, and that this country was founded on. Most children, when parented naturally with secure attachment, want to be like their parents. Thus, if parents show gratitude for everything they receive, so will their children, unless there is a break in the bond due to child abuse. There is no need to punish children for being ungrateful, or demand that they be grateful. Gratitude is a place you come to naturally, by avoiding all entitlement, meaning expecting absolutely nothing from anyone. Parents should lead the way by expecting absolutely nothing in return for what they do for their children, and expecting absolutely nothing from anyone. If you truly feel unappreciated by your child, know there is a polite way to say anything, and if you lack entitlement for your child, you will know what I am talking about. Even when dealing with children, asking politely can take you a long way.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!