Autism and attachment parenting: Why autism parenting meets the needs of all children

Many parents these days are finding out that at least one of their children have a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder. Autism spectrum disorder comes from an extreme male brain, even in females, where normal human traits come in extremes. Autism is a cluster of genetic traits that can be arranged in any combination, and in any order. Most parents are easy on their autistic children because they think their autistic child "needs a break". The fact of the matter is that the parenting children with autism need is not radically different than typically developing children. Christian attachment parenting is what ALL children need. 

Autistic children and care-dependent adults, like all other children without autism, need a mutual submission setup, where the parent bears the burden of proof and submits to the needs of children as they would God, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of such submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers around especially like goslings to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments and controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

A common trait of autism is staggered development, meaning this is the central trait of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Most children at their developmental level, therefore, need the same kind of treatment. It is common knowledge that a child with autism needs a stable relationship with their parents or else a competent caregiver. However, this is the same thing as what we call a secure attachment in attachment parenting. It is especially crucial for autistic children to have a secure attachment with at least one parent, usually the mother (as mothers are primary caregivers of children).

Throughout history, attachment parenting was used as a means of winning children over to parents. In biblical times, this was no different. Mothers especially in biblical times provided for their children nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin closeness. Some children in biblical times did not like physical closeness with their parents. They were regarded as stand-beside-me children, and were regarded as the highest of the high in the Kingdom of God. Most children were deified to a certain level in biblical times, with children being seen as little gods and goddesses reigning over their parents, and with parents trying to win favor over them all. This is a common attachment parenting experience. It is just that when the child has autism, everyone agrees with it. In biblical times, children with sensory difficulties that didn't like touch from parents were respected in that choice, and parents didn't take it personally at all.

Children with autism are like a mirror. Whatever your negative attitude is, it becomes theirs, right away, and they spit it out right back at you. When you take an entitled and aggressive approach to parenting, they do as well. Most children work the same way, but are less apt to self-advocate their needs. Most children need a good example, alongside attachment parenting to back it up. ALL children need a secure attachment with their parents, autism or no autism. ALL parents need to focus on winning over the deity of their children, instead of winning power struggles with their children.

Individuals with autism are often singled out for attachment parenting because they are known to have a strong counterwill. A counterwill is a survival instinct where the individual controls back whenever controlled. Someone with autism usually has this to the extreme, but so do most very young children. Most 2-3 year olds are not designed to be controlled. What do you do with a 2-year-old who is crying and throwing a fit? Why not scoop them up and hold them in your bosom if you are their mother, perhaps giving them skin-on-skin comfort and letting them breastfeed? And children with autism need the same things usually, and they usually end up being stuck in an immature phase, and so they may need closeness even longer - perhaps into the teen years, including things such as co-sleeping. Most children, period, have a strong counterwill. Children don't need controlling treatment, autism or no autism. Children need comfort and nourishment, meaning they need to be nurtured by their parents so they can absorb on their own the values of our society, and learn to control and discipline themselves.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!