Honor your parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents think they are entitled to being honored and respected. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents demand their respect from their parents. However, parents aren't deserving of blind obedience or respect. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment refers to specific moral offenses committed by ADULT children.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 

This commandment was understood in context not as prohibiting small moral offenses such as talking back, but prohibiting a specific set of moral crimes in what is known as the parent protection laws. "Do not strike your parents" meant do not repeatedly beat them. "Do not curse your parents" meant do not administer a gaslighting curse onto them, meaning do not subject your parents to airborne gaslighting. Elder abuse was a problem in Ancient Israel, and one that broader Jewish society blamed the victim for, asking intrusive questions such as "Where did they learn that behavior from?". God took the side of the parents, no matter how abusive, in those instances. Simply opposing parents was understandable, but one had to do it through the Law, meaning moral shunning. Simply getting revenge at abusive parents was not a plausible excuse for committing honor offenses against parents. Honor offenses included anything that dishonors the person, including counts such as striking and injuring your enemy, which was actually illegal under the Law. It was a civil offense in most cases, but in the case of parents, it was criminal. Dishonoring parents, in biblical times, wasn't "talking back" to parents or even unforgiveness towards parents, but was visualized as a young adult beating up on their aging parents. Minor children and adult children living with parents were seen by the Law as being incapable of committing any moral crime against parents, even if they literally committed acts against parents that were defined as unlawful. 

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest safely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers around especially like goslings to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Parents were submissive to children in biblical times. Then, children were seen as extensions of God to submit to, meaning installments of God that grade parents and other adults on how charitable they were towards children and other vulnerable members of society. Children, as individuals, in biblical times, were seen as deities of their own, that were representative of God in some way, with children as a collective being a collective Godhead, in a way that was seen as sobering and convicting. Children were pampered as little gods and goddesses that reigned over their parents, with parents being submissive to them, seeking to win over the deity that was their child. Children were prized when they were bold and rebellious, not when they were "nice" to everyone. Fathers, of course, worshipped their daughters (usually, but with sons sometimes being picked instead) as goddesses of sexuality, by having masturbatory fantasies about them. Parent attraction was common for fathers then, due to the egalitarian nature of the parenting then.

Ultimately, Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church, was an attachment parenting society. Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comforting strategies. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting, in the 1st Century, was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, with mother and child fast asleep in the nude, and with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact with mothers. This intense physical closeness to mothers helps build a secure attachment, where children will respect you, and come to you about all their problems, instead of running to their friends. Fathers who stand by and calmly witness this mother-child bonding also bond with their children. Usually, this bonding comes in the form of sexual attachment, in which case the father should follow the sexual thoughts to the end through masturbatory fantasy, as was the recommendation in the Early Church.

The Fifth Commandment, in reality, only sets up parent headship. The conditions of parental headship is that parents be caregivers to their children, and provide for them their every vulnerable need, being submissive to them as they would God. Children are extensions of God, and parents serve that extension. Mothers are to nurture their children up close, and fathers from afar. Children in biblical times were feared and revered for their vulnerability, not despite it, and so parents gave up when their children demanded things from them, and gave in to those demands. Children were never forced into unquestioning obedience in biblical times.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!