Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior

'Tis Christmastime. Many parents may want to do their last minute Christmas shopping, and they may want to take their children with them. Children, under these conditions, are bound to melt down, and parents are bound to melt down in the store right with them. Many parents think crying is bad behavior for a child past a certain age. However, crying is not bad behavior in children. The fact of the matter is that crying is communication for all children, nor just infants - they want love!

How should a parent deal with crying? The doctrine of mutual submission calls for parents to bear the burden of proof by proving themselves to their children, by providing for their every vulnerable need, including loving attention and listening. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers especially around like a gosling to a mother goose. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan customs of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin co-snuggling. Children went in the nude in biblical times alongside their mothers for a specific reason - so that mothers could easily snuggle them up and cuddle them up when they were crying or upset. In the family home, mothers co-snuggled with crying or upset children in the nude, with both mother and child naked, and with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact from mothers. When mothers were out and about, children up until age 6 were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets...This context is applicable today just as it was in the days of old, albeit maybe with some tweaking. See paragraph below.

How can the abovementioned context be applied today by mothers? The concept is called a time-in, as opposed to a time-out. When a child melts down in the family home, the mother should disrobe, at least down to the level of underwear, but preferably all the way. Then, she should invite the crying or upset child to throw off the clothing. You may find that your child does not like wearing clothing when they are upset, especially little children. Hold the child close to your bosom area. You should find that crying stops within 1-2 minutes of doing this. A quick way of doing this when out and about is taking your child to the ladies' room, and holding them to your bosom by tucking them under your shirt. Crying or upset children especially crave skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance, and so give them the love and attention that they so desperately need from YOU. It is only YOU as a mother that can provide that comfort to them, so provide it to them. Just do this once as a mother, and it will seem like the natural thing to do, meaning like you were supposed to react that way to crying from the beginning.

Crying is a way children communicate needs. Children have five basic categories of needs; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of these needs is attachment. The greatest of all attachment needs for a child is attention. Thus, a child might cry just because they want your attention. So, give them loving and caring attention. Skin-on-skin comfort and sustenance is a good way to give a child of any age loving attention, and in reality, that sort of loving attention is what they usually need, as a direct need.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend in to the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!