Respect: Why parents must earn their respect

Many parents think that they are entitled to respect from their children. These parents believe that they are deserving of respect just for being parents. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents want respect from their children, but think demanding respect from children in an entitled manner will achieve those means. The fact of the matter is that parents need to earn their respect from their children.

Christian attachment parenting was the traditional parenting in the Early Church. Christian attachment parenting is based on the concept of mutual submission, with parents bearing the burden of proof in all cases. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the presence of their parents, following parents around like a gosling to a mother goose. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments and controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside of the family home, otherwise going in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, with mother and child fast asleep next to each other in the nude, and with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact. Children went naked for a specific reason then - so that mothers could snuggle up and cuddle up their children when they were crying or upset. Fathers also formed a secure attachment with children once standing by and seeing them with their mothers. However, fathers often had a parent attraction to their children, usually the child of the opposite sex, usually daughters. Fathers purged those unrequited lusts by re-channeling them inwards through masturbatory fantasy. Daughters also fantasized about their fathers until puberty, as did sons about mothers until puberty. Masturbatory fantasy about children by fathers improved the relationship between father and child, or at least father and daughter.

Respect, in any home, is to be earned. Children owe you as a parent nothing in life, meaning a parent isn't entitled to respect just for being a parent. A parent has to earn their children's respect, and they do so properly using attachment parenting means. A parent is a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. Not even respect. Not even praise. Not even forgiveness. Parents have no authority over their children, and are instead their bondservant, earning their lump sum once their children become fully independent. A parent is to demand nothing from their children, as God could take away their children at any time, and He sometimes does do just that. Respect for parents in biblical times was based on closeness to parents, not fear of punishment from parents.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!