Policing attachment: Why to fear your child (pro-social oxen, pro-social halter)

Many parents believe that they should police their children. This is a common view amongst American parents. Most American parents want to be able to tell children what to do, and they want children to listen "right now". However, the fact of the matter is that the Bible, in context, calls for the opposite - children are to give lawful and binding orders to parents, and parents hearken to the orders of their children.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, and with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are depraved and decadent sinners who are deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or others. Respect from children in parenting is earned, with the burden of proof falling on the parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages and offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in ancient cultures, were to be feared. In the Early Christian culture, as well as with their Jewish predecessors, children were to be feared reverently, as denoted by the Greek root word ψοβός (Latin: phobos). Children were seen in biblical times as extensions of God, meaning installments of God called to convict all mankind of his charitable side. This conviction in parents and other adults came from children actively convicting their parents of their depraved and decadent sin nature. Crying then was seen as lawful and binding order convicting parents to care for and provide for their children. Parents were convicted by their children to be charitable to their children, keeping them happy by way of God's loving providence. Parents trembled and quaked in the wake of the voice of their child crying for their every need, or else demanding needs, reverently fearing and revering their child as an extension of God, serving children as they would God. 

You didn't mess with children in biblical times. Whatever you did or didn't do for children, you did for God. Children were demanding in biblical times, strongly identifying by their deified role. Children were seen not as simply innocent and pure, but holy and unblemished. Children could do no wrong in biblical times, even if they did do wrong, in a way that evoked reverent fear and terror. Children embraced their deified role, in a commandeering way. Parents obeyed their children when they demanded their every need and benign want, rarely saying "no". The parenting manuals in biblical times were clear to be reverently afraid of your child, for your child is judging your every move and reporting to God, and every time they cry uncomforted, it is as if you were that careless about your relationship with God.

Parents in biblical times were like oxen pulling an oxcart. Children were in the back of that oxcart, cracking the whip on the oxen, meaning the parents. The parents had no choice but to follow the lawful and binding orders and decrees of their children, being oxen driven by a halter, with children whipping them along. That's all parents were for - to take children from point A to point B. Parents are hired bondservants to their children, and only get paid a lump sum at the end - when their children become independent. Parenting is a thankless job, and was considered such in biblical times, meaning children weren't expected to be thankful for their parents - parents were expected to be thankful for their children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!