Zero expectations in parenting: Why parents should have no expectations for their children

Many parents think that they should have high expectations for children. This is a common belief among American parents. Most American parents think that parents should have some expectations for children, or else children will go awry. The fact of the matter is, however, that expectations lead to entitlement. Avoiding parental entitlement means avoiding expectations in parenting.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, including parental entitlement, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, this word refers to wanting anything from a child, period. It is not good to want anything in life, including from children. But, since we all want something from children as depraved and decadent adults, it is good to ask politely and appropriately, and accept when the child can't or won't do what is asked of them. Imposing expectations on anyone often leads to disappointment, and often sore disappointment. Parenting is no exception to that rule.

The core of Christian attachment parenting is Christian love. Christian love is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in this tense, prioritizing children first, and yourself last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return. True Love comes not from a place of pride or expectations, but from a place of conviction, with the parent coming to the knowledge that they are a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of absolutely nothing from their children or any child, with the sinner paying due penance by serving their neighbor, meaning their child. True Love does not expect anything from its subject, not even gratitude, but instead expects itself to submit to its subject dutifully and selflessly, demanding no praise or accolades in return. Children then rest securely in the submission of parents. See Colossians 3:20 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, with children resting securely in the submission of parents, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents. Surrender to parents is a state of seeking refuge in the loving arms of parents, without any expectations imposed. The job of parents is not to impose expectations, but to submit dutifully and selflessly to children, with children surrendering in the wake of that submission, resting securely, without a care in the world.

There is a difference between an expectation and a preference in parenting. Preferences are when you simply wish that your child would have a certain trait or act a certain way. When you impose preferences onto a child, it becomes entitlement. When you expect things of others, that may lead to sore disappointment when people don't do as you want them to.

The idea in parenting is simply to state preferences in the form of instructions. Simply state the instructions to your child when they need to be directly instructed, such as when they are behaving in a way that is immoral or unsafe. If they do not listen, righteously assume that they didn't listen because their brain cannot fully process the instructions given, due to cognitive immaturity. In that case, simply supervise the child and keep them safe, knowing they can't possibly fathom the impropriety or danger of their behavior. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend in to the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand.