Respect: Why respect is earned in parenting

Many parents want their children to respect them. This is a common desire of American parents. Most American parents seek to achieve these means by demanding respect from children. This is a common mistake American parents make. The fact of the matter is that respect is earned, wherever you go in life. Respect is also earned in parenting. Parenting isn't a free ride.

The Fifth Commandment, found in the Old Testament, is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, with children resting in the submission of parents, with children owing absolutely nothing to parents. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, with parents being subservient to them just as they are to Him, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding children hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up this legal context for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed all forms of punishment of a child. Paul, here, was lifting up the Law in order to educate Greek and Roman parent newcomers to the Christian Church of proper Jewish parenting, with the Early Church being considered a sect of Judaism in the 1st Century.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they were adults. Women only wore clothing in the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The main focus of Christian attachment parenting in the biblical context is skin-on-skin co-sleeping, where mothers and children slept next to each other, and with both the child and the mother in the nude. Children went naked wherever they went, and that was for a specific reason - mothers needed easy access to skin-to-skin contact, in order to comfort the child when the child is crying or otherwise upset.

Skin-on-skin comforting strategies help earn the respect of children. After the skin-on-skin treatments are done, children are more compliant, and cooperate more with parents. Parents are also more interactive with children on their level. Fathers can get to this same place by indulging in masturbatory fantasies of their children, as the parental lobe in a man is connected to the sex drive. Either way, respect needs to be earned in a family home, meaning parents need to earn the respect of their children. Simply treat children with respect, and you will get respect in return. Attachment parenting is the way to treat children with respect, so that they respect their elders later on in life.

Children who are treated to attachment parenting WILL respect their elders later on in life. True respect for parents is not fearing their "authority", but giving back for everything they did to nurture and protect you. I myself pay the check every night when I take my mother out to eat. Children will give back. But, they will have to go through all the stages of childhood development first, which parents must respect.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!