Mutual submission: Why parents and children should submit to each other

Many parents think that children need to submit to them, and that is the end of the story. Most American parents demand respect from their children. Most of these parents think demanding respect from parents is the way to go, and cite the Bible as a source for their views. The fact of the matter is that the Bible, in context, calls for mutual submission between parent and child, with the burden of proof falling on the parent. Parents are to submit to their children, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word denoting Christian love in the New Testament is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in this context, prioritizing your child first, and yourself last, in terms of priorities, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or anyone else. True Love does not come from a place of pride or desire, but from a place of conviction, where parents and other adults come to the knowledge that they are a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else, leading to the sinner paying due penance by serving their neighbor, earning their worth. Children, in biblical times, were considered the neighbor of their parents and other adults in their lives, not the enemy.

The submission of parents leads to children resting in said submission. The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, with children resting safely and securely in parents. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, with parents being subservient to them just as they are to Him, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or anyone else.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular opinion, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. Most men of that time were, as were the women. Paul, here, was lifting up the Law in order to educate Greek and Roman parent newcomers about proper Jewish parenting, which was attachment-based in nature.

Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. The Early Christians, and their Jewish predecessors, practiced a specific, distinct form of attachment parenting that deified children. Children in biblical times were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, with children being viewed as little gods and goddesses deserving of being pampered and spoiled by their parents. Parents then wanted to be seen as spoiling or pampering their children, and constantly used terms such as "my little god" or "my little goddess" as terms of endearment. The every cry and demand of children was a lawful and binding order. If parents didn't follow those orders, and they could have given the practicalities involved, children could take parents to court, and by that point, the case had already been decided, with the child prevailing in all cases. Children were sacrosanct then, and were treated as either royalty or angelic figures deserving of veneration. See Matt. 25:31-46.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they were adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise, went in the nude in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The central focus of Christian attachment parenting then was skin-on-skin co-sleeping. Mothers and children snuggled next to each other each night, with children being held in mammary closeness to mothers, with both mothers and children wearing nothing. By day, children ranged beside mothers, sometimes clinging to her. Mothers co-snuggled with children in skin-on-skin format when children cried or were upset, and that was a quick way for mothers to soothe their children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!