Hebrews 12:5-11: Why this passage does not support punishing children

Many parents believe in punishing children. This is a common stance amongst American parents. Around 60% of parents in various studies reported the use of force in correcting and disciplining children. Most American parents support striking and punishing children to some degree. Most American parents get their parenting information from religious sources, not scientific sources. One of these sources is Hebrews 12:5-11. Most parents do not understand the context of this passage. Hebrews 12:5-11 is not a pro-spanking passage.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-11 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, then God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now, no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

This is, in fact, one of my favorite passages in the Bible - and it has nothing to do with raising children, and does not instruct earthly parents in parenting. It is about the experience of being parented by our Heavenly Father. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόο (Latin: mastigóo) and refers literally to a specific scourging, namely the 40 minus 1 lashes in the Old Testament. The Greek root word translated "chastisement" and "corrected" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the chastening of the Lord, meaning a Christian standard of discipline that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything. The 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction was a summary sentence for a capital offense, and was administered as a final warning before an offender was put to death. Enduring stripes with the rod of correction was seen by the Israelites as a second chance at life. Doesn't all hardship work the same way? Rod language is a form of figurative language in the Hebrew language, which Hebrew Christians spoke. When you had a bad day at work, you said "God really whipped me hard today". God whips His children into shape, and scourges them to harden them, like only He can. If earthly fathers whipped their children (like what often happens), they would cause harm to their children. Earthly parents should follow their parental instincts and stick to attachment parenting, just as was done in the Early Christian context as well as the preceding Israelite context.

Hebrews 12:5-11 was not written to parents, but to Hebrew Christians enduring Roman persecution. There are, however, passages written to earthly parents, and they call for attachment parenting, when understood in context. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, with children resting securely in the submission of parents, owing absolutely nothing in return to parents. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, with parents being subservient to them just as they are to Him, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or anyone else.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your hostage for things they did wrong, and falsely enslaving them. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed all punishment of a child. 

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they were adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, with mother and child fast asleep next to each other, snuggling and cuddling with each other in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, and with mothers holding their child to their bosom in mammary closeness. Fathers are also supposed to be passive and nurturing with their children, holding their hand and being dragged around by them like a human ragdoll. Fathers should become aware of their parent attraction by re-channeling that side of them inwards through solo masturbation. Becoming aware of parent attraction helps fathers form a bond with their child. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!