Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context: Why blind compliance isn't a biblical mandate for children

Many parents believe children should respect their parents and elders. This means, to most parents, that they have the unilateral right to demand respect and compliance from children. This is the common view of parents in America. The fact of the matter is that the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother" simply prohibits elder abuse, by the state definitions of elder abuse. In spirit, the Fifth Commandment establishes parent headship.

The Fifth Commandment reads in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment, as understood in context, prohibits elder abuse. This commandment, under the Law, establishes grounds for the parent protection laws, as all 613 Commandments of the Law are based on the first 10 Commandments. Elder abuse was an isolated problem in Ancient Israel, and a misunderstood one. Parent victims of elder abuse were blamed for their own abuse, with intrusive questions such as "where did they learn to behave like that?". The assumption was that the parent victim brought it on somehow, and so parent victims of elder abuse were afraid to come forward with allegations against their children. The parent protection laws set clear penalties for elder abuse, as it was commonly perpetrated in that context. "Do not curse your parents" means do not impose an airborne gaslighting curse on parents that sends them on their merry way. "Do not strike your parents" means do not repeatedly beat your parents. Those parent protection laws were written specifically to the Jewish context. Today, the elder abuse definitions in one's individual state apply, to the degree that they apply. Apart from that, you are free to say anything and everything you want to parents, or else shun them if they were that abusive to you.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children resting in parents as a Godhead in the family home. Parents are to serve their children as they would God, being appointed by God as mere waitstaff for children, waiting on their every wish and need hand and foot. Children are an extension of God on earth, with adults having the duty to submit to the child's needs from above, with children resting in said provisions from beneath.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children then were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law for Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. Paul, here, was educating Greek and Roman newcomers to the Christian Church about proper Jewish parenting, which was based in attachment parenting methods. It was church tradition then to follow the Jewish parenting custom of attachment parenting, as the Early Church was then seen as a sect of Judaism.

Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including among the Early Christians. The Early Christians practiced a specific, distinct form of attachment parenting that deified children. Children in biblical times were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, with children striking reverent fear and terror into parents. Children were seen as the most vulnerable among the "least of these", and thus, whatever you didn't do for your children, you didn't do for God. Children had the right to issue lawful and binding orders, and parents had no right to issue lawful and binding orders in return. Children could take their parents to court, in which case the child always prevailed, and the parent always lost. See Matt. 25:31-46. 

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they were adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing nourishment and sustenance, namely breastfeeding and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The core of biblical parenting in the biblical context was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, which was not just for infants, but was allowed for children up to age 10 or even older. Children did not leave the side of mothers until age 6, and even when children did leave the side of mothers, children never left the line of sight of parents. 

Christian attachment parenting is based off of the mutual submission understanding of relationships in the Bible. The Fifth Commandment allows for parents to be head of their children, in terms of providing for their children, and lays out the framework where parents can be primary providers for their children. Children, usually as adults, give back to parents who are generous and charitable to their children. Respect is a two-way street, and it starts with parents showing their children due respect from above, and children resting in said provisions from beneath.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!