Pro-social self-loathing: Differentiating attachment parenting from self-esteem

Many parents want children to be humble and understated adults. However, more and more parents are buying into the concept of self-esteem. Self-esteem, until a decade or two ago, was seen as a foreign concept, associated with East Asian cultures and alien to how we do things here in America. Some people lump attachment parenting in with attachment parenting, and this is false. You can have it both ways - pro-social self-loathing in with attachment parenting.

It says in Romans 3:9-12 KJV:

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentile, that they are all under sin; As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

This passage was written to Roman Christians in the 1st Century, rebuking them for their pridefulness. The Roman Christians thought that they were the righteous ones just for being Christians. Paul was correcting them on their pridefulness, saying no human being is righteous, and that we all have a depraved and entitled sin nature. Today, this passage is a reflection of what God thinks of humanity. God hates us all merely for existing in relation to Him, with all mankind being deserving of nothing but DEATH and PUNISHMENT merely for existing in relation to God. God especially hates adult-kind for his/her incursions on child-kind, marking every adult, by default, for deletion. Only a few adults will inherit the Kingdom of God, with the rest suffering everlasting punishment on their last day, and destruction in rapture-fire on the very last day. We are sinful creatures as depraved and decadent human beings, just for how we have treated children throughout our history as a species. No other species of animal has a history of mistreating the youngest and most vulnerable among it like human beings do. We are glorified apes as a species, beating and raping our children into oblivion, like the cawing apes that were our ancestors.

Love is the answer for our sin nature, meaning Christian love. Christian love is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing your neighbor first, and yourself last, in a convicted way, leading to dutiful and selfless submission to your neighbor. Love is not just a feeling or an action, but a state of being where everyone else comes first in terms of needs, and your own needs come last. This comes from a place of conviction where you come to the knowledge that you are a wicked and entitled sinner deserving of nothing, and thus you must pay penance for said sin nature by serving your neighbor selflessly. Children, in biblical times, were loved as a neighbor, and not an enemy.

Pro-social self-loathing, in the form of Christian love, is a good message to model to a child. Come to the conclusion, as a parent, that you are a wicked and entitled sinner deserving of nothing, leading to paying due penance by submitting to your child selflessly and dutifully. Wherever you go with your child, show them the example of feeling entitled to nothing, and thus being grateful for everything. Eventually, your child will catch up to you, and take up your example, and because you submitted to them first, and gave them everything they needed from you, they want to follow your example, looking up to you, wanting to be like you. They, too, will come to the point where they know they are a wicked and entitled sinner deserving of nothing. They just will come to that conclusion on their own.

Your humility should start with your child. Know that even the slightest of anger towards your child comes from sin, and stifle that anger, knowing how worthless and entitled your being is, thus knowing that you are deserving of nothing from your child, at all. Knowing how worthless and depraved your nature as a parent is will make you feel undeserving of anything from a child, and thus the anger will be turned inward towards self-improvement. The key to this is to find fault with yourself and not your child, and that starts with finding fault with any anger you have towards your child. Parent attraction works similarly, but since it cannot be eliminated (due to the low-level nature of parent attraction), it needs to be re-channeled inward, with any contact with the child charred and tarred with aversive imagery such as Hell or becoming defiled in God's eyes.

One does not have to have high self-esteem to be an attachment parent. I have no self-esteem, meaning I feel like I am worthless, depraved, and inherently sinful. Yet, I am as productive as anyone with my form of autism can be, seeking to be even more productive. I don't value myself, and maybe devalue myself. I value others above myself, and strive to treat everyone I meet with respect and dignity. Usually, that means leaving people alone when they need to be left alone, or else making their life easier in some way - I make the life of waiters and waitresses easier by not complaining, even when there was a problem with the food by my standard.

I am a depraved and decadent sinner in relation to children, and are deserving of nothing but DEATH and PUNISHMENT merely for existing in relation to a child. I have a history of adult sexual entitlement where I have approached young girls with the hope of sexual relations, offending them sexually by making them feel uncomfortable. I am a depraved and decadent sinner in relation to children, deserving of nothing, not even respect, not even forgiveness. I am grateful that my victims have forgiven me, as I am not deserving of forgiveness given the horrid moral crimes I have committed against children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!