Mutual submission: Why parents and children should submit to each other

Many parents think that they have the right to demand respect from children, and that they have the right to respect from children, period. This is a common view among American parents. Most American parents get their parenting advice from the Bible, not scientific sources. The theology is that children carry the burden of proof in a mutual submission relationship with parents. The fact of the matter is that parents carry the burden of proof in a mutual submission relationship with their child.

Love is submission. Christian love, in the New Testament, is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing your neighbor first, and yourself last, in terms of priority of needs, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to your neighbor. This love does not come from pride or desire, but instead a place of conviction, where you come to the knowledge that you are a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of absolutely nothing, prompting the sinner to pay due penance and serve their neighbor. Parents in the biblical context understood children as their neighbor.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ did for His children, with children being a Godhead in the family home. Parents are to sacrifice for their children, just as Jesus Christ Sacrificed for God and His Kingdom, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal slights perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and receiving many warnings that their punitive parenting habits were in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and was opposed to any and all punishment of a child. Paul, here, was educating Greek and Roman newcomers to the Christian Church about proper Jewish parenting. The Early Christians were a sect of Judaism, and thus, the Early Christians adopted Jewish parenting customs as church tradition,

Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. The Early Christians, as church tradition, used a special, distinct form of attachment parenting that deified children. Children in biblical times were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God on earth. This had a very practical meaning in Christian homes in the 1st Century, with children issuing lawful and binding orders as to what they wanted and needed, and parents bending over backwards to meet the needs of children. Children could even take their parents to court, in which case, the child always prevailed. Parents, when sued by their children, could not countersue. Parents could not order any lawful and binding orders towards their children until they were adults and lived away from home. Until then, parents simply asked from the bottom of their heart when they wanted something from their children, and children were happy to comply with the wishes of parents if the parents earned the respect of their children...This context applies today just as it did in the time of the Early Church

Parents are to be beholden to the every vulnerable need of children, in the form of righteous enslavement. Parents are to be bondservants to their children, bending over backwards, then being toppled over, just to meet the every vulnerable need of children. Parents and other adults are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and are to be subservient to children just as they are to Him. Parent and child are adversaries, with parents being the adversary of children, deserving of absolutely nothing from children. 

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of nourishment and sustenance, meaning breastfeeding (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The core of the parenting traditions of the Early Church was skin-on-skin co-sleeping. The skin-on-skin aspect of co-sleeping and co-snuggling built a secure bond between parent and child. These strategies, here, is how you earn respect from your child. Respect is earned in life, including from your child, and so snuggle and co-sleep next to them...This context applies today just as it did in ancient times, perhaps with a bit of tweaking.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!