Fear your child: How to love your child - the right way

Many parents think that their children should fear them. This is a common view among American parents - that parents should be feared, and that parents should punish children in that tense. These parents use the Bible as an excuse for abusing children. The fact of the matter is that the Bible, as understood in context, calls for parents to fear their children in order to love their children.

It says in Romans 3:9-12 KJV: 

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin; As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

This passage was written by the Apostle Paul to Roman Christians in the 1st Century. The Roman Christians were becoming too prideful in their practice of the Christian faith, and believed that they were the righteous ones just for being Christians. Paul was convicting the Roman Christians of their pridefulness and boastfulness. Today, this passage is a reflection of how God feels about mankind. God hates us all as depraved and decadent human beings, so much that He doesn't want us to even exist in relation to Him. God has marked all depraved human beings, by default, for deletion. Only a few will be saved, with the rest of mankind being condemned to their fate for their embracing of entitlement. Adult-kind is especially guilty for his/her incursions on child-kind. We as depraved and decadent sinners are the enemy of God, and children are extensions of God on earth, called to strike reverent fear and terror in adults using their vulnerable pleas for help.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement, including parental entitlement, in the New Testament, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, wanting things from children, to the point of imposition. It is not good to want anything in life, but since we all want something as depraved and decadent human beings, it is good to ask politely and appropriately for what we want. This includes asking politely and appropriately as to what we want from children.

Christian love is the answer for our sin nature, and is the only answer for our sin nature. The Greek root word denoting Christian love in the Bible is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing others first, and yourself last, in an adversarial manner where you are convicted that you are the enemy of others. Love, in parenting, is where you acknowledge that you are the enemy of your child, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and thus you are to be subservient to your child just as you are to Him. Love comes from a convicted place of reverent fear where you come to the knowledge that you are a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of absolutely nothing. In parenting, coming to this realization prompts the parent sinner to make amends for their sin nature. This prompting, coming from a realization of original sin, is denoted by the Greek root word ψοβός (Latin: phobos) and refers to the trembling terror from knowing how sinful you really are, prompting you to do better next time.

A parent is the enemy of their child, and is, by default, a menace and a danger to their own children, and any child that crosses their path. No adult truly means well in relation to children, as all adults have a depraved and decadent sin nature in relation to children. Love is making amends for your menace towards children. It is a menace that towers over them, and seeks to control them like toys. It is up to YOU as the parent to make amends to children by submitting dutifully and selflessly to their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, not even respect or forgiveness. Love, in parenting, is winning over a group of people - children - who you have wronged by your very existence. 

Parental entitlement is the problem in parenting today. Parental entitlement is addressed in the Bible explicitly, and in offense format. It says in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and also after receiving many warnings that their punitive parenting habits were a violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as any damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law for Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and was opposed to any and all punishment of a child. Paul, here, was educating parent newcomers to the Christian Church about proper Jewish parenting. The Early Christians kept the Jewish parenting traditions as their own, as the Early Church was simply a sect within Judaism.

I am afraid of children, and reverently so. I would do anything a child would tell me, and regret having to say "no" to unworkable commands. I would be a child's righteously held slave, doing for them whatever they want. Whatever a child wants, give them, and don't argue unless the request is completely unworkable. Otherwise, give them whatever they want, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Children owe me nothing. I am deserving of nothing from children, not even respect or forgiveness.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!