Attachment parenting in the Bible: Why God wants parents to be attachment parents

Many parents think the Bible commands punitive parenting such as spanking or otherwise punishing a child. This is a common view among American parents. Most American parents do not get their parenting information from scientific sources, but instead religious sources. There are a lot of religious sources that spew out bad information on parenting. However, the fact of the matter is that the most accurate and evidence-based of religious sources condemn all forms of punitive parenting, as the biblical context itself instead endorses attachment parenting. Attachment parenting is the most time-tested and time-honored method of parenting, and any values system, including the Judeo-Christian sort, can be taught with attachment parenting.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, with children resting securely in this submission. Parents are the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and is to be subservient to them just as they are to Him.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding a child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and thus opposed any and all punishment of a child. Most Jewish men of his time held that view, as did the women. Paul, here, was lifting up the Law in order to educate Greek and Roman parent newcomers to the Christian Church about proper Jewish parenting, which was attachment-based in nature.

Attachment parenting was the norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church. The Early Christians, as well as their Jewish predecessors, practiced a specific, distinct form of attachment parenting where children were deified. Children were worshipped and venerated in biblical times as extensions of God, being seen as gods and goddesses, with children being viewed by the ancients as holy and angelic. Most parents, in biblical times, wanted to be seen as spoiling or pampering their children, in a deifying way, with children being seen as little gods and goddesses deserving of the love and warmth of parents. Children were extensions of God in that they issued lawful and binding orders to their parents in order to petition for their every vulnerable need, with the every cry and demand from children being a lawful and binding order. Parents had no recourse to issue lawful and binding orders of their own. Children could take their parents to court, and by that time, the case had already been decided in favor of the child. Parents could not countersue when sued at law by their children, and thus they had to bear the full brunt of the law.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until adulthood. Women only wore clothing outside of the home, and otherwise, went in the nude to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by providing nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The central focus of Christian attachment parenting then was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, where children snuggled up next to mothers at night, with both parties in the nude, with children being safe and secure in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy next to mothers. During the day, mothers would co-snuggle with a crying child in skin-on-skin format, in order to soothe the child. Otherwise, children ranged next to mothers, naturally following her around like goslings follow a mother goose. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!