Surrender to parents: How children should surrender to their parents

Many parents think that children should surrender to them, and cite the Bible to back up that claim. The Bible says that children should surrender to parents, and there is no getting around that. But, how do you get children to listen to you as a parent? The fact of the matter is that the quick fix is not spanking, but attachment parenting. Children are to surrender into the loving arms of parents.

The Fifth Commandment states that children are to obey parents. The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents, leading to children listening to parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. When you as a parent use attachment parenting strategies, especially skin-on-skin comforting strategies, children listen to parents automatically and willingly, and out of instinct. This verse does not refer to forced obedience to parents, but instead a child willfully obeying parents, on her own accord. Children usually obey parents when their every need is met, especially attachment needs. True biblical obedience to parents comes not from fear of punishment, but instead comes from secure attachment. True biblical obedience is on the instinctual level, meaning that children who have a secure bond with their parents naturally go along with their parents, their instructions, and their whereabouts. A child with a secure bond to their parents will range next to their parents, especially their mothers, and won't go far. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child in an exchange, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a prohibition against all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and receiving many warnings that their parenting was in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up the Law for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed among the Early Christians, as the Early Christians used attachment parenting to gain cooperation from children.

Children surrendered to their parents by co-snuggling with them in skin-on-skin fashion. The pictorial image of child surrender, in biblical times, was a young child snuggling with his or her mother. Children wore no clothing, at all, until becoming young adults, and mothers only wore clothing when leaving the house to run errands or gather fruits and vegetables. Children surrendered to their mothers by running to their open, loving arms.

Mothers were primarily charged with the care of children, in biblical times. Mothers gained cooperation from their children not by spanking or punishing children, but by using skin-on-skin comforting strategies, especially skin-on-skin co-sleeping. All of this closeness and intimacy served to gain cooperation of children, and compliance later on. Children who are treated to skin-on-skin comforting strategies usually obey their parents, automatically and out of instinct, not questioning the motives of their parents, knowing they have every reason to trust their children.

Christian obedience is based off of three steps. Hear. Understand. Obey. "Understand" means trust that parents mean well and have your best interests in mind. That only works if parents don't punish children. Punishment creates distrust in children, by violating them in a way that they resent in the long run. Closeness with children is the only way to garner obedience and compliance from children. Children naturally want to obey parents, but punishment drives them far from that goal. 

True Christian obedience is something a child elects to do, not something imposed by parents. Children elect to obey parents when all their needs are met. There are five basic needs for children: food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest of attachment. Children should obey parents, ideally, but can't be expected to if their cup isn't being filled, in which case the fault always falls on the parent. Closeness is the only real way to fill a child's cup, meaning it is prudent that parents form a close bond with children, and the first 6 years of your child's life are crucial to forming that secure bond with them. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur. which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!