Pro-social skin-on-skin: Why this is the quick fix for crying in children

Many parents want a quick fix to crying, as well as childhood tantrums. Most parents think they have to use force, such as spanking or punishment, to quell the upset and crying of a child. This is a common myth, as one does not have to use punishment or other forms of controlling demeanor to quell a crying fit in a child. Skin-on-skin comforting strategies are the best way to quell a crying fit or other upset in children.

The Bible affirms attachment parenting as a parenting commandment. All parents must strive, in some way, to be an attachment parent. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to ensure that children have a warm and loving upbringing, seeking to win over their child's affection and warm regard. When you use attachment parenting methods, including skin-on-skin comforting strategies, children listen to instructions from parents immediately and automatically, hearkening to directions out of mere instinct and not out of fear of punishment. It is a lower level of compliance that is driven by instinct, where children merely go along with parents, tagging alongside them, following them wherever they go. This commandment lifts up the attachment parenting context, as true biblical obedience is based on secure attachment, not fear of punishment.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child in an exchange, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and receiving many warnings that their parenting habit was in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up the Law for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such parenting custom existed among the Early Christians, as the Early Christians were pacifists, including in their parenting.

Mothers, in biblical times, were the adults primarily charged with the care and protection of children. Mothers then did not spank or punish their children to gain cooperation or compliance from them. Instead, mothers used skin-on-skin comforting strategies. The key tool in any biblical mother's toolbox was mammary comfort. Mothers used skin-on-skin mammary comfort with their children, including in co-sleeping, in order to reassure crying in their child, and to form a secure parent-child bond. Children never wore any clothing until they were adults, and mothers only wore clothing outside the home. Mothers and children co-mingled, co-snuggled, and co-slept next to each other, with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children never left the side of mothers until age 6, and even when they weren't ranging next to mother, they never played outside of the line of sight of parents.

Mammary closeness is the core of all Christian attachment parenting, as such was an attachment parenting method used in biblical times. It is the quickest way to stop a child from crying. Just place the crying child on your bosom, and the child should stop crying within 1-2 minutes. Once you, as a mother, place your child on your bosom, you will wonder why you didn't do so before - it will feel like the natural thing to do, and you will know instinctively what position to hold your child in towards your bosom.

How does mammary closeness work? There are nerve endings on the breasts of mothers that correspond with nerve endings on the child's stomach and chest, and when these nerve endings come together, they allow for mother and child to form a secure bond. These nerve endings exist even in older children, teenagers, and even young adults. It should feel refreshing and comforting to hug your mother, even in your mid-20s (that's where I am with my mother!). Mammary closeness is the oldest parenting trick in the book. Mothers have been holding their children close to their bosom since time immemorial, and mothers will continue to hold children close to their bosom for all time. I as a man won't get in the middle of mother-child bonding time.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!