Pro-social skin-on-skin: The quick fix for childhood tantrums

Many parents think that spanking and punishment are quick fixes for childhood tantrums and other behavior. This is a common myth about children. Most pro-spanking advocates rely on the fact that punitive parenting is "easy to apply" and a "quick fix". There are positive alternatives to punishment that are quick to apply as well, and simple in application as well. Pro-social skin-on-skin means any skin-on-skin comforting strategies used to lull a crying and tantrumming child into relaxation.

Attachment parenting is the oldest and most time-honored method known to parenting, and is inscribed in the Bible. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with parents convicted of their depraved and entitled sin nature, and with children resting securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Attachment parenting was the established norm in biblical times, with it being mandated under Jewish customary law in the Old Testament, and church ordinance in the Early Church. This Greek root word lifts up the attachment parenting context, for the relevance of all.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a prohibition on all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after receiving many warnings that their parenting was out of compliance with the Law. Parents who punished their children then were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, with punitive parents then being seen as vipers or monsters out to get their children. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context for a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed among the Early Christians, as attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance.

Mothers, in biblical times, were primarily charged with the care and protection of children. Mothers in biblical times did not spank or punish children to gain cooperation, but instead gained cooperation through skin-on-skin comforting strategies. Children did not wear clothing until they were adults, and mothers only wore clothing outside the home. Mothers co-snuggled with a crying child who was throwing a temper tantrum. 

Respect for parents was a concept in biblical times, but respect for parents then was based on closeness, not fear of punishment. Mothers formed this close bond by snuggling with children in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, with children being lulled into relaxation almost immediately after crying. The results? Children in biblical times never left the line of sight of parents, and children up until age 6 never left the side of mothers. Children were cooperative with parents, and were quiet and compliant, absorbing the discipline and morals of the Lord through the example of parents, at their own pace.

Crying in children of all ages, in biblical times, was treated in the same way most parents today treat an infant crying. The pattern of interaction between parents and children was that children cried when they needed something, and then parents provided for their every need based on their cries and demands. Parents were merely heads of their children, not authority figures, and simply answered the every cry of children. Children who were throwing tantrums and out of sorts emotionally were placed on the bosom of mothers. Crying, when this is done, usually stops within 1-2 minutes, in which case you can then talk to your child about what is wrong. Parents in biblical times simply responded, and responded to crying automatically - crying wasn't a source of parent anger in parents, as parents then accepted that children would cry from time to time.

The bosom of mothers, as a part of a mother's anatomy, has a calming effect on children. This is a natural phenomenon where children are reassured and lulled to comfort by being held close to the bosom of mothers. In ancient cultures throughout human history, mothers were holding their out-of-sorts children to their bosom. In biblical times, the mothers were either naked or minimally clothed at the time, as mothers wore no clothing in the home, and wore an apron-like dress when out and about. Mothers co-snuggled at home with crying children, or else held a crying child close to the bosom of mothers while underneath her dress. The attachment parenting tactic of pro-social skin-on-skin is the most time-honored of parenting quick fixes out there. Simply place a crying child to your bare bosom as a mother, and your stress will be alleviated alongside the child's - you as a mother will know then that such is what you should have been doing all along, with the strategy feeling natural for you.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!